One thing I miss terribly about America is the ice cream. Ice cream available in Israel is mostly junk, and the good stuff is too expensive except for an occcasional treat. So I have recently discovered the world of home-made ice cream. I knew that ice cream makers existed, but I mistaken believed that the cost of quality ingredients would be prohibitive. Happily, I was wrong. My friend gave me her manual machine for a while (she has an electric one) along with a list of recipes and I set about making some. I noticed that the recipes are very flexible and you can use either milk, milk and cream, or yogurt, sugar, and flavorings. We put in a combination of ripe mango and smushed plums retrieved from the daycamp backpack. All in all about NIS 6-8 for the whole thing, including the cream. Indescribably delicious–well worth trying. I had bought cones for the daycamp but they clearly were superfluous. And the kids just love to crank up the machine.

I also experimented making an American product that is still generally unavailable in Israel–tortillas. I remember buying Ortega tacos a few times when we lived in the US. In honor of Mexico day in our daycamp, we made flour tortillas for dinner last night. The recipe called for kneading the dough, letting it rest, rolling it into balls, resting again, rolling out the balls into rounds, and briefly cooking in an ungreased pan (my heavy, stainless flat frying pan worked great and my 10yo son managed the flipping all on his own).

Here are some recipes. Scroll down for both flour and corn tortillas.
I used water instead of milk, and they all went. We filled them with cooked beans and rice that I already had in the house, salad and some fake salsa because the only hot peppers in the house were in the form of cayenne pepper (known as paprika harifa in Israel, not to be confused with paprika metuka or what sells in America as good old paprika). Something different for the nine days. Actually, for me the hardest part about the restriction on meat for the first nine days of Av is what to do with the Shabbat leftovers. I have to make sure that everything I serve is either easily frozen, pareve, or in a quantity guaranteed to disappear before the end of Shabbat.

Speaking of cooking, we had a bit of an adventure last Friday. On Thursday evening I prepared a tray of chicken with lemon and garlic and put it in the refrigerator to sit. I wanted it freshly cooked late Friday. At some point around 2 or 3 o’clock I realized I had put it in a dairy pan. I have a dairy pan identical to my meat one, they are all made for my dual oven but we put a wire on the dairy one–I guess that’s not enough! Now, usually there wouldn’t be any problem because everything was cold, but lemon and garlic can be an issue and render things non-kosher. Finally, about two hours before Shabbat we spoke to a rabbi and got the okay. Otherwise I would have had to defrost a chicken very fast. He did say that we had to kasher the tray. At any rate, our chicken was very fresh and delicious!

Read more on Life in Israel–just a little more bearable…

Tweet This Post

Last night a friend stopped by. She is collecting money for www.levuneshama.org, an organization providing food and other necessities for families in Safed. She says that the situation there is unbearable; many houses have been destroyed and families are going hungry. She is friendly with the founders of the organization and 100% of the funds go to the needy families.

It was a little crazy at our house: my oldest son came back from his camp, just in time to do his laundry before Rosh Chodesh, and the other kids were excited to see him; my older daughter was making another batch of play clay for “Mexico day” in our day camp today; my second son was objecting to our request to turning off the music; and my two-year-old was running around happily after several failed attempts at bedtime. My friend, bless her heart, said, “It’s such a pleasure to come into a house where everyone is healthy.” Her own husband has a chronic illness. And whenever I feel like complaining I remember to be grateful as well that we don’t have rockets (yet) raining down on our house.

Anyway, I’m off to cook some tortillas and make some sombreros. Adios, amigos!!

Read more on Another night at the ranch…

Tweet This Post

I stopped sending my kids to day camp a few years ago. When they were younger I bought into the idea that they had to. As we all got older I am happy for them to hang out at home, go to the pool occasionally, play games with each other, go on trips, do some crafts, and wait for my husband’s vacation. Once they adjust to not having their days planned for them they usually come up with something constructive on their own.

For the last two years, I have done something a little different. We organized a cooperative camp with two other families (and a few hangers-on). This year we meet 4 days a week. Each day a different family hosts and on the fourth day we take a trip. We have 10-12 children ranging from 2-1/2 to 12 years old. So far we’ve gone to the local zoo, the fire department, and Ganei Yehoshua in Tel Aviv (all on the bus). We have a theme–each family does a different country when they are hosting. For Australia we made ANZAC cookies and learned about kangaroos and platypuses, and for Italy we made pizza and gelato. This week we are doing Mexico. It’s a commitment, because I have to prepare in advance and be on the ball the day of camp, but the kids have a great time. The older ones like thinking of ideas and helping out with the younger ones. The parents are having a good time too. Since my two youngest have been home with me all year, it is the first time that I have had them out of the house one or two days a week. They are with their older siblings so they don’t mind. I usually bring the youngest one home toward the end of the morning; we meet from 9-1.

Here in Israel day care centers are usually open except for a week or two in August. But if your children are in a private or public “gan” (preschool/kindergarten), they have to pay an extra month’s tuition for the first three weeks of July. And just about everybody sends through elementary school, even the teachers who are on vacation anyway, and the mothers who don’t work. “They’ll have enough free time the 6 weeks that are left, I don’t need to entertain them for the whole summer” is the general consensus. Some teenagers run private camps, which vary in quality, and there is a thriving business in camps for the second part of the summer. Very few people send their children to sleepaway camp, and if they do it is only for a week.

Teens are a bigger problem. My oldest son is in a week-long “machane torani” sponsored by a hesder yeshiva. They go to shiurim, tour a little bit (but the trip to the north was cancelled), and get a feel for the yeshiva. This is highly subsidized; it costs me NIS300 for the week or about $70 (don’t even know the exchange rate these days). The kids who are in youth groups (one of mine is) have a big camping trip and various activities throughout the summer, but there is really not enough for younger teenagers to do.

Read more on Our almost-free cooperative daycamp…

Tweet This Post

My son, almost 5, asked me why there is no number “wunny.” It comes after nine. I asked him what comes after wunny-nine. “Twenty!” Isn’t that obvious?

Tweet This Post

Emuna Braverman on Aish.com, with an article entitled: A Radical Parenting Theory. Quotes are in italics.

Discussing lactivism, the editor wrote, “But there is a line, at least in my mind, between supporting the nursing mother and insisting that you know the best thing for her family. Breastfeeding, like so much else, is just one part of what makes up a mother/child relationship. And we at Brain, Child have faith that mothers can make the best decisions for themselves and their children.”

What is so radical about the view that we should let parents make their own decisions regarding their children? Lactivism is not about judging parents. It is about ensuring that they get accurate information to counter the marketing and “education” that so many parents and medical professionals are subjected to from formula companies. Instead of seeing breastfeeding and formula as a simple choice (something formula companies have worked hard to promote), lactivists work to make breastfeeding the normal, default option.

While the Torah mandates that we teach our children certain appropriate behaviors and values, Jewish wisdom is silent on whether you should use the Ferber method of gradually reducing the time it takes for your child to cry himself to sleep or whether you should pick her [sic] your child whenever he cries. It doesn’t prescribe feeding on demand or on a fixed schedule. And the Torah doesn’t comment on the complexity of factors that affect a mother’s decision whether to breastfeed or not.

Well, the fact that (according to Braverman) the Torah doesn’t mandate “certain appropriate behavior and values” hasn’t prevented her from giving her parenting advice on the Aish website for years and years (not that I have disagreed with all of it). And the Torah does support breastfeeding; just check the comment section of the article for lots of sources.

For the record, demand feeding and the benefits of breastfeeding are not at all controversial. Demand feeding, now more accurately referred to as “cue feeding,” has been proven beyond doubt to be the best way to ensure a good milk supply. The inferiority of formula has been proven in countless studies. Braverman doesn’t do anyone a favor by acting as if these are debating points in the “Mommy wars.” Unfortunately, Ferberizing is still practiced and supported, even though Ferber has modified his views on the matter to the point of allowing that there is nothing wrong with the family bed (where parents sleep with their children, often through the preschool years).

It’s ironic that a society that preaches “live and let live” when it comes to a range of controversial behaviors, is outraged if a mother refuses to breastfeed. Is she not entitled to be treated with tolerance? Should she be forced to explain her very private decision to the lactation police, to complete strangers?

What the heck is she talking about? She should try going to a mall sometime and breastfeeding in public. Society is much more tolerant of bottlefeeding. Emuna, there are no lactation police. Formula has money behind it and breastfeeding has only mothers, volunteers like me, who adored breastfeeding their babies so much, and learned all about motherhood by breastfeeding, that they don’t want women to abandon it because of erroneous information, unhelpful advice, or lack of support.

And even if one discounts Chaza”l on parenting (and I don’t understand how anyone writing on Aish could do that, despite sources not always being clear-cut), breastfeeding and parenting are issues for the Jewish community. Breastfeeding mothers are less likely to have closely spaced children, making it more likely that the family will have the economic and emotional resources to raise each one properly. Not to mention the unnecessary expense of formula. Breastfeeding mothers are more likely to be in tune with their babies (not always, don’t shoot me!). Children whose cries are responded to quickly, night and day, are more likely to become caring and self-confident adults.

A word about guilt, because that is always brought up as a reason for not promoting breastfeeding too much: I think young parents have it very rough. I know I did. I didn’t succeed in nursing my oldest as long as I wanted. Actually, I feel bad about a lot of choices I have made for my children at various times. But like most parents, I did the best that I could with the resources I had available at the time. I believe that we as a community need to make sure that young (and not so young) parents have access to the resources to deal with whatever issues they are facing. In the case of breastfeeding, that means accurate information and support for their choice. And the freedom to choose bottlefeeding, if they wish. No one should feel guilty for doing the best they could.

None of us is perfect. Yet how a child is raised does matter. We should care when Jewish children are left screaming to sleep at night because their parents are overwhelmed and can’t cope. We should care when a rabbi tells a mother she shouldn’t nurse her 9-month-old more than once a day and he hopes to see her with a new baby in a year’s time. Caring doesn’t mean judging parents or criticizing their choices. It means listening to their concerns, helping them out as a community when they have a new baby, pointing them to organizations that support young families, and simply giving them a call to see how they are doing and if they need practical help. We are talking about the future of the Jewish community. We need to do everything we can to ensure that young families get the help and information they need to raise their children in a warm, loving family.

Wishing everyone and your children a safe night, wherever you are.

Read more on No, Emuna, there are no lactation police…

Tweet This Post

Especially with three fasting teenagers in the house. Thank God they have school on most of them.

Tweet This Post

I’m a relatively new blogger, and it’s been interesting to see the notice, or lack thereof, my wonderful writing and insights have received. I would be embarrassed to admit how often I check my site meter. Blogging can be an outlet for creativity, a tool to bring up important issues, and a way of getting some insight on my life. Yet more than anything else, blogging has brought out my usually suppressed, desperate need for attention.

I have noticed that the Jewish blogosphere is a community like any other. In order to get more readers I would need to visit and comment more on blogs and build relationships with other bloggers. Then I wonder whether I shouldn’t be investing my time in my real-life relationships instead. My other difficulty is my unfamiliarity with HTML. I did manage to add the site-meter albeit in an inconvenient place, but I haven’t succeeded in adding the jrants and jblogsphere icons yet (any suggestions?). Not to mention blogrolls and such.

In the meantime, I have lots of ideas for future posts. I hope you will continue to read and enjoy. And post a comment, okay? Please?

Read more on The real purpose of blogging…

Tweet This Post

Who would have guessed that the local park would be so interesting? Apparently an 8-year-old child accidentally kicked his ball into a toddler. The man supervising the toddler, presumably the grandfather, began screaming at the soccer player’s father. He “got in his face” and told him, among other things, that he wouldn’t be safe in his bed because the angel of death would take him, he would have a heart attack, he was going to die tonight, his mother was sorry he was ever born, etc. He screamed these things at the top of his lungs for about 10 minutes. He was holding the screaming toddler the entire time. Everyone was watching, appalled. The victim was calm afterward, and took it in stride. He said that his son had tried to go over to apologize. I didn’t witness the incident but it seems there was nothing to elicit such an extreme reaction (although my 5yo said that another mother had complained about the game and the ball had hit a baby). Kids get hit by balls; it’s not a life-threatening event. If you don’t want your kids ever to be hit with a ball, don’t go to the park. These grandparents were probably under a lot of stress watching the children in the crowded park.

When I got home I called my friend, who knows the family of the child who was hit better than I do. She told me that the parents of the children went away for three days. The babysitter is with them until 4, when these elderly grandparents come over to sleep. She gave me the cellphone number of the parents and encouraged me to call them. Before intervening I called another friend for her opinion. She said that the parents presumably are aware that the grandfather is unstable, and they probably don’t want to hear about the psychological damage that has been caused. This doesn’t quite jive with my interactions with the mother (I have had a few conversations with her), but it could be that her husband pressured her into this vacation. Since I don’t believe that the children are in physical danger, I decided not to call.

Read more on Another rumble at the local park…

Tweet This Post

Aunt Laya, author of a book for teens, spoke in my community tonight. She’s an observant woman who moved to Tzfat (Safed) just two years ago. She recommends that parents place the book on their teen’s pillow (that only works if you can find it in their room). The book is intended for a universal audience and as it refers to drugs, suicide, and sex, she’s not looking for haskamos (rabbinical approbations) despite having had positive feedback from the haredi community. She included a chapter on sexual abuse when she learned from a teen peer counselor that half the teens who approach her want to discuss this topic. She also has chapters on choices, gossip, peers, intuition, and mission statements, and her style is to give information without being judgmental or preachy. I wish Aunt Laya a lot of luck .

Read more on "You don’t have to learn everything the hard way": An evening with Aunt Laya…

Tweet This Post

Well, I am late posting this week because I am embarrassed. Not because I overdid my Shabbat preparations, but because I did something a Jewish hostess should never do–I served spoiled food to my family and Shabbat guest. You see, last Friday I prepared a big pot of soup and stored two containers in the refrigerator. I don’t remember whether they went into the refrigerator just after boiling, but I unfortunately did not put them in the freezer till after Shabbat. I took one container out of the freezer on Thursday and defrosted it in the refrigerator, and it was still a good deal frozen on Friday afternoon when I heated it to boiling. I thought the color was wrong but in the Friday rush I decided to overlook it. Still, I was not surprised by the unpleasant taste. I hope my husband won’t be insulted when I write that he didn’t notice anything, and he had finished his bowl by the time I told everyone not to eat any more. Presumably Friday boiling killed any live bacteria and therefore no one got sick, not that I’m saying it was healthy! My intrepid 5yo insisted that it tasted fine with salt; I made him give it up anyway.

Here’s the rest of the menu:

Friday night:
Home-made challah; we’re on a “roll” here
Bad soup
Roast chicken
Potatoes and sweet potatoes, cooked in the pressure cooker and heated up with the chicken
Salad
Watermelon, and cookies provided by guest.

Shabbat lunch:
Challah
Melon
Cholent with turkey
Cold roast chicken
Salad
Chumus

Seudah Shlishit/third meal:
Challah
Crustless quiche with mushrooms, tuna, peas, and cheese(made extra for this purpose with dinner Friday night)
Potato salad (I had too many for Friday night and kept some pareve)
Chumus
Plums
Microwave-cooked apricots

No one can say I overdid it this week especially considering we had a guest. Rachel did write that her husband enjoys a fancy dessert. Everyone has special things they like for Shabbat, and sometimes they require an extra effort.

Read more on Shabbat menu–a bit off…

Tweet This Post