2006 October | A Mother in Israel

Archive for October, 2006

More marketing in the Israeli school system

From the Hebrew print edition of Haaretz:

The cellphone company Partner-Orange donated approximately one million shekels to the Rogozin school, which serves an underprivileged population in south Tel Aviv including the children of foreign workers. The money was used to paint the schoolyard orange, along with marketing slogans that regularly appear in Partner’s advertising including “smile” and “explore.” The name of the company does not appear. The school failed to seek the necessary approval of the special committee of the education ministry, as Israeli law forbids commercial advertising in schools without such approval. The city of Tel Aviv did approve the donation.

Here’s the unbelievable response from Roni Rahav, the public relations company representing Partner/Orange:

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"Cosmetic" changes vs. financial security

In this piece, Maariv economic reporters try to help a family who is in serious “minus” or overdraft. The husband brings home about NIS 8000 per month and the wife gets unemployment of about NIS 2300. She is hoping that her next job will pay NIS 4000. They also get a child allowance from the government of about NIS 300 (these details were in the print edition which I thought I brought home from my trip, but can’t locate, so they may not be exact). The wife is expecting to get a one-time reparations payment from her former employer (NIS 12,000). Their monthly expenses (including annual payments spread out over the 12 months) totalled NIS 14,154 and with the help of the experts at Maariv they will try to cut it to 12,353.

Their monthly expenses include NIS 4470 for their mortgage payment, or 40% of their monthly income. Maariv gave them very sensible advice: Sell the apartment, invest the capital, and rent until they are in a position to make monthly payments on a new apartment, or alternatively, rent out their apartment and move to a rental in a cheaper area (perhaps they could make do with a smaller apartment since their children are small, aged 2 and 4). But the wife tearfully refused because she moved twenty times before she was eighteen years old (although that’s a far cry from moving twice as a small child)..

Some of the expenses are quite interesting:
NIS 550 for cellphones (Maariv suggested trying to cut it to 300)
NIS 218 for cable (Maariv suggested doing without for a while, paying NIS 15/month to keep the account active)
NIS1800 for food (They already shop in a cheap supermarket; Maariv said to try to keep it to NIS1650)
NIS 198 for a mineral water bar (Maariv suggested bottles for NIS 60/month)
NIS 120 for a belly dancing class
NIS 500 toward the annual vacation to Turkey–they were told to cut it out for a year or two
NIS 3,160 for day care
NIS 260 for hairdressing and beauty treatments (the wife agreed to give up on her fingernail care for a while, in order to save NIS 100)
NIS 300 for cafes (advised to cut to 150 but one night recently they spent NIS 400 on alcohol without blinking)

This couple was also advised to use the unemployment reparations to cover the overdraft and avoid paying interest, and to stop contributing to their savings account. They could then take out a loan to tide them over, the idea being that their daycare expenses will go down when their daughter starts going to the public kindergarten in another year. This plan doesn’t take into account the fact that they will have other expenses as their children get older, including schoolbooks, increased food expenses, and extracurricular activities. Maariv also suggested that they use the car from the husband’s company, all expenses paid, to transport them to free family entertainment like a trip to the beach.

There was no mention of trying to cut their utility or food bills except by “trying to buy products from smaller companies.” What about the soft drinks and processed foods that are a staple of Israeli diets? What about reducing waste or buying in the shuk? Utilities and food comprise a huge chunk of a family’s budgets. Even cutting an electric bill by NIS 10 a month adds up after a while. And NIS 160 for haircare seems pretty luxurious to me.

Need I point out that pulling the children from daycare will save NIS 3160, while the wife’s new job will earn only NIS 4000. She will only make NIS 1700 more than her unemployment payment! Of course she won’t get unemployment forever. I wonder if her job will be full-time–I doubt it with that salary, yet she seems to be paying for full-time daycare. Actually part-time daycare is difficult to find her and not always priced proportionately.

From what I see, I would say that this family’s situation seems quite typical. Unfortunately Maariv’s advisors do not ask the family to make significant lifestyle changes that might bring them true financial security.

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October 29, 2006 · Filed under Israeli living, daycare, economics

Now for something completely different. . .

I took this video at a lookout in the Golan. In the background you can hear my kids shouting that the bus is leaving–they were climbing on my back so I didn’t get to see what the ant managed to do with that sunflower seed in the end. . . .

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5-year-old’s explanation of Tehillim

See if you can guess the source for this comment:

“Ima, you know, you don’t need money.” (Reconsidering.) “Well, you do need money to buy things. You don’t need zahav. The Torah is better.”

??? ?? ???? ??? ????? ??? ????
Tov li torat picha me-alfei zahav vachesef.

Psalms 119:72 The law of Thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold (zahav) and silver (money).

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October 24, 2006 · Filed under my children

The Annual Etrog Debate

He: Do you want to make etrog jelly?
She: No, I read that because they are not sold as food they do not meet standards for pesticide use.
He: How about spiking them with cloves for besamim?
She: No.
He: Well, they smell really good and I don’t want to throw them away.
She: Well, I don’t want them to stay on my counter until Pesach.
He: I’ll take them to work.
Younger he: I’ll keep one in my room.

Glad we worked that one out.

Marketing in preschools

Haaretz reports on the latest marketing ploy directed at toddlers:

Marketing activities in preschools have now become regulated. Tadamm Focused Marketing recently received a concession to manage marketing and advertising campaigns in private preschools and day-care centers.

Here’s what will be happening:

Unsafe suggestions?

A commenter on Orthonomics, which linked to my post on frugal babies, posted this to me:

. . .some of the things you suggested in your blog are known to pose a health risk to your child and family, such as co-sleeping in the same bed (lowest SIDS risk is same room /different bed), or washing cloth diapers in a household washer without appropriate temperature/soap/rines etc. Also, it is well know that chareidi mothers choose to breastfeed at a much lower rate when they are on the government programs such as WIC, which provides free formula but not free food for nursing mothers.

Let me go in reverse order here. Regarding mothers (charedi or otherwise) who don’t nurse in order to get free formula, it is my understanding that WIC does give breastfeeding mothers more food than those it gives formula-feeding mothers. There is a new proposal to provide additional benefits and support that will encourage low-income mothers on WIC to initiate and sustain breastfeeding. Read more about it here. It’s a delicate balance; we want to encourage breastfeeding but we don’t want babies to go hungry because their mothers choose not to or can’t, yet can’t afford formula.

Regarding “health risks” with cloth diapers: Do you have any proof to the assertion that washing diapers at home increases illness among babies? It’s not like they are going to eat off of them, and they are not sharing the diapers with anyone else. In fact, I use the same setting — 40 degrees Celsius– for both my dishwasher and my diapers. If that setting is safe for my dishes surely it’s okay for my diapers too? The reason I use a minimum of detergent is not only to save money. It’s better for my washing machine, and when urine gets on diapers that have not been well-rinsed they stink to high heaven. I washed mine in hot water every couple of months, without detergent. Sometimes I used a white vinegar rinse. But hot water is definitely not necessary for every washing. If you regularly use a full measure of detergent in your machine, take your clothes and wash them once without detergent. You might be surprised at how many suds they generate. And there have been many questions raised regarding the safety of chemicals used in disposables.

Finally, you are correct that the AAP’s task force on SIDS recommended that babies sleep in a separate bed in their parents’ room. I don’t feel bound by their recommendation, any more than I will if and when the AAP recommends against circumcision. Where babies sleep is a lifestyle choice, just like breastfeeding. The task force only looked at SIDS risk and did not consult with the AAP’s breastfeeding task force or consider other risks. To make an informed decision parents need to look at the whole picture..

I don’t believe that it is wise for parents to follow any recommendations blindly, and I don’t imagine that even the most conscientious parents do. They certainly don’t all breastfeed for at least a year, another current AAP recommendation. What if the parents don’t have space for a crib in their room? Are they going to move to a bigger house, or sleep in the living room (assuming they have space there)? In my case my not having to get out of bed, my husband continuing to sleep, the security I feel I am giving to my baby, the fact that I respond to the baby before s/he cries, shorter feedings, more sleep, the pleasure of having the baby near me all night, and an increased period of infertility, are not enough to counter a possible increased risk of SIDS that is unlikely to be backed up by future studies. Babies have accidents while sleeping in cribs, they suffocate when their mothers doze off while nursing them on the sofa in the middle of the night, and they fall when a sleepy mother is returning a baby to the crib. They can die of SIDS on their back in a crib in their parents’ room. Life is fraught with risk, and it is all about balancing risks and benefits in a way that is right for an individual family.

At any rate, here are guidelines for safe co-sleeping.

Here comes the bus

My son, 10, is obsessed with busses. He knows the routes and schedules of every line in town, and his favorite website belongs to the bus company that recently took over our local service. If you happen to mention a local street, he will immediately inform you of the line that serves that area. Whether you are planning to go there or not.

Still, I was quite surprised to get a call from a representative of the bus company today, asking for him (he’s not home). I was half afraid that she was going to tell me that he was harassing an employee of the website with his constant questions. (Once, he emailed them because he hadn’t gotten any email updates lately about route changes, and they politely informed him that there hadn’t been any.) But no, the representative called to tell him that she wants to implement his suggestion for a new bus route, and she is going to pursue it further within the company. I can’t wait to see his reaction when I tell him.

Controlling children, controlling ourselves

Anshel’s wife had a hard day. She asks, “What do you do when your kids don’t act the way you want them to act?” A very good question, although I might rephrase it, “How do you get your kids to want to act the way you want them to act?”

The short answer is that it’s not about the techniques you use to control your children, it’s about the relationship you build with them from birth. Children who are “out of control” are often simply responding to a lack of connection with their caretakers (barring some kind of developmental problem). A mother who is too stressed out on a regular basis to communicate or play with her children, or is preoccupied with other things, will find that her children don’t want to cooperate when she needs it the most. I’m saying this as one who grew up in a fairly emotionally cold home and is normally involved in about a million projects at once.

So here are my suggestions:

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October 17, 2006 · Filed under parenting, toddlers