Powered by WebAds

Archive for December, 2006

Female JBlogger interview: Sephardi Lady

Since Jewish Blogmeister indicated here (check the comments) that he won’t be interviewing any female Jbloggers, I decided to take up the gauntlet (only I don’t promise to stay on my side of the mechitza!). I started with Sephardi Lady of Orthonomics, who discusses her hobbies, the tuition crisis, abuse in our communities, borekas, and how she came to write about economics and Orthodox Jewish life. Enjoy!

Sephardi Lady, for a young woman you seem to have a lot of financial know-how topped with a greater than average measure of common sense. Your blog is on countless blogrolls and is linked to constantly, and gets comments from well-known names in our community. What life experience do you bring to a discussion of economics and the Orthodox community?

Thank you so much for the compliments. If anyone deserves credit for my “common sense” it would have to be my parents. They taught me the values that I hope to adequately portray in my blog, as well as adequately pass down to my own children: conducting one’s affairs with honesty and integrity, putting what is right before your own desires, being happy with what you have and not looking to compare with the outside world, living within your means and saving for the future, living modestly, and looking at the bigger picture. Baruch Hashem, these values fit very well within a Torah worldview.
Sometimes I wonder what qualifications that I have to run my own blog, lol. Afterall, there are those with more years, more wisdom, more connections, and far more experience and insights into the issues I write about. Fortunately, many of these people have become valued commentors (on or off record), which is where the true success of a blog lies. A blog without comments would be like food without spice.
In all honesty, I do believe I have the right qualifications and life experiences to run my blog. My background is in accounting/auditing and business administration. The area where I shined professionally was my ability to isolate the issues and communicate them clearly. From viewing different discussions in various blogs and hearing “Shabbos Table” talk, I knew there was a “demand” for a forum on frum financial issues, and as a free market American capatalist, I decided to “supply” that forum.

While nearly all of my work experience has taken place outside of the community, I have an interest in household finance and small business that has opened my eyes and ears to issues faced in our own communities. I’ve been on a shul financial committee, so I’m aware of some of the institutional challenges out there. I’ve also helped many young people and young couples with their budgeting, taxes, and more. So between running our own household finances like a well oiled machine, and knowing a little bit about other people’s financial situations, I think that I’m sufficiently close to “the front line.”

How did you think of that clever name, “Orthonomics”?
When I finally decided to put my hat in the ring, so to speak, the name just came to me. Too bad other ideas are not so forthcoming.

What have you learned since the birth of your children?

What haven’t I learned? I think the most amazing thing about being a parent is just how deep of an emotional connection you have to your own flesh and blood. I think this took me by surprise. I really had no idea how strong that bond is, and it bring a whole new dimension to certain parts of the Torah. Another thing that I have noted is just how trying being a parent can be. There were certain bad middot that I fought with and thought that I had essentially buried, until my kids pushed the wrong buttons and I realized those middot haven’t actually been buried. Chazal tells us that it takes a lifetime to change a middah. The sages were not kidding!

How do you fit blogging and commenting on other blogs around the demands of small children?

With a new baby in the house, I’m finding it harder to fit blogging in. Plus, we’ve recently been going a lot of places: the library, the park, and the regular errands. But, I enjoy writing about issues I care about. And, when a thought comes to mind, I will type it up and find time to complete the thoughts when I’m having some “down time.” Commentings is a lot easier than blogging. I can type with one hand and tend to do so while holding the baby and serving breakfast or lunch. There aren’t too many other mothers at home. And, I guess blogging is my view into the adult world.

What other hobbies do you have, assuming you have the time?

I really enjoy cooking. It fits well into my life as a homemaker. And, my husband appreciates this hobby too. My other hobbies are a lot harder to maintain. I love athletic activity, but due to tough deliveries, I am unable to return to the level of athleticism that I would love to return to. So, while I work out, I don’t think I will be setting any records any time soon. My other hobby is playing classical piano. Here too, I have a hard time playing with the level of perfection I expect from myself. Somehow, it is difficult to play when a toddler joins in and turns the pages.

Are both you and your husband from a Sephardic tradition?

Hashem must have had us matched before birth. When I left home for the first time I found myself among Jewish peers, many of whom were Sephardi. The rationalism of the Rambam and differences in outlook regarding halacha and communal policy appealed to me; the traditions fascinated me; the decorum in the Beit Knesset impressed me; and the food, well, what can I say, a boreka beats a gefilte fish hands down. When my then shidduch date revealed to me that he was Sephardi, scared I might harbor some negative sterotypes, and I responded enthusiastically, the deal was sealed. Together, we are committed to continuing and preserving Sephardi minhag and halacha. And, I’m even looking forward to having grandchildren named after me, in my lifetime, iy”h.

You were the one who wrote the letter to Rabbi Horowitz that got an interesting discussion going about the extent of abuse in the Orthodox community. Where would you like to see the discussion go from here?

I am an action oriented person. So, ultimately, I’d like to see some action taken. And, I think that eventually action will be taken. But, G-d willing it will be taken up voluntarily, rather than forced upon the community in an embarrassing way that weakens faith in the community and its leaders.

In your opinion, what is the biggest factor in the tuition crisis? What do you think can be done to help resolve it, if possible?

I hate to be a pessimist, but I’m not sure that anything can be done to resolve the “tuition crisis” at this point without an extreme reorientation of priorities, lead by strong leaders, to the detriment of other causes. The day school/yeshiva movement is not that old, nor that organized. Private schooling for the masses is a very expensive proposal and requires a great deal of investment. I’m not sure the community has had the time to make the necessary investment. But, worse yet, I’m not sure that the community has the interest. Unfortunately, it seems that nearly every other cause is more attractive, while schooling is left to the “consumer” to fund. .

Day schools and yeshivot are vital to health of the Torah community. While there are some alternatives out there for individuals (e.g. homeschooling), I don’t think there are any good alternatives for the masses. I’m afraid that we are already playing defense, but hope to see some offensive action taken.

What do you most enjoy about blogging, and what have you learned from your experience in the Jblogosphere?

J-blogs have opened up a whole new world for me. On top of the tremendous amont of Torah out there, it has been great to discover that there are other people out there who share some of your own interests and concerns. Too often the blogosphere is brutal. But, it is a tremendous forum, and I think it can be utilized for positive purposes. G-d willing, I will contribute positively.
Thank you for the interview.

Thank you for your thoughtful responses. And take it from me–stay away from those borekas ;) .

Interview with Maggid of Bergenfield

Read more on Female JBlogger interview: Sephardi Lady…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (9)

“Don’t You Have More Love for a Child than That?”

I just received the following anonymous comment on my post What’s Your Excuse? Leaving children alone, revisited:

Hi. I just came across your blog by accident, but then again maybe it wasn’t an accident. I just returned from a 12 day trip to Israel with a tour group. I love Israel and the Israeli people.

Read more on “Don’t You Have More Love for a Child than That?”…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (11)

In honor of Chanukah–My first meme

In honor of Chanukah  My first meme
In honor of Chanukah  My first meme
Thanks to Soccer Dad for tagging me for Irina’s Menorah Meme. Since we’re Israeli we’ll call it the Chanukiah Meme, even though Chanukiah is a made-up word that doesn’t really mean anything.

Because we light a lot of chanukiot at our house, we are always having trouble figuring out where to put them so they can be seen from the outside. My 5yo made a chanukiah in gan out of miniature colored popsicle sticks. The picture at the top shows what it looks like after my toddler got hold of it. The problem with the gan chanukiot is that they use shallow cups, and the only way to light them is to “glue” the candles in with melted wax. The candles still fall over and make for a very frustrated kid, not to mention a fire hazard. So my very accommodating child made do with a simple tin one, also above, which we place on his convenient, practical, and decorative chanukiah mat.

Below is the chanukiah my 10yo made this year:In honor of Chanukah  My first memeIt features a landscape of Jerusalem etched in foil, and holes skilfully dug into the wood that hold the candles fairly straight. He puts the candles in foil to prevent the chanukiah from burning up altogether, and so far has been successful. We are sure to light this one on the outside windowsill.

My older two boys received chanukiot as Bar Mitzvah presents. Neither of my daughters chose to light this year; the little one uncharacteristically didn’t ask to (maybe she is scared?) and our 12-year-old declined this year despite our encouragement.

My husband also lights a tin one.
In honor of Chanukah  My first meme
We feel a simple one is appropriate, as Chanukah commemorates a spiritual victory, and the halachic tradition lacks the physical “trappings” of some of the other holidays (the festive meal and gifts as on Purim, for example). We are proud to be lighting our chanukiah in the land where the miracle occurred so many generations ago.

Now, who am I going to tag on the Thursday before the shortest Friday of the year, and Chanukah at that?

Sephardi Lady, Kallah, Amishav, Safranit, Emahs, Z, Jerusalem Joe, Rafi G., and Kollel Mama.
You’re under no obligation.

Chanukah Sameach to everyone!

Read more on In honor of Chanukah–My first meme…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (4)

He’s looking good

My five-year-old is nothing if not practical. We just had the following exchange.

Me: You have a dimple in your chin. You’re going to be very good-looking when you grow up.
Him: How will it help me see well?

Update: My friend said I needed to spell this out because she didn’t get it.

So here goes:
Me: You have a dimple in your chin. You’re going to be very good-looking when you grow up.
Him: How will it help me see well?

He wasn’t familiar with that expression, as we aren’t in the habit of talking about whether people are good-looking or not.

Read more on He’s looking good…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Leave a Comment

This is my secret too

I was happy to discover that I am not the only adult in Israel who never learned how to ride a bicycle. I’m even happier to find out that it’s never too late. One teacher said his oldest student was 70.

Read more on This is my secret too…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (5)

"Okay you win."

That’s what my 16yo said to me.

“You made more latkes than I could eat.”

He also helped me try to get Netvibes (thanks to Jerusalem Joe) to give me the weather of a city closer than Haifa. Neither Tel Aviv nor Jaffa nor Ben Gurion (as in the airport) yielded results. Jerusalem gave the option of Israel, Ohio, or Arkansas. “Ima, it’s going to rain in Haifa on Friday,” he told me. That’s the last time I’m cooking for him.

My toddler was also funny this week. “I ate an egg. Look at my neck,” she instructed, lifting her head back obligingly. “You can’t see it because it’s closed.”

Read more on "Okay you win."…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (2)

Beyadeinu Or Va-eish — Fire and light in our hands

Beyadeinu Or Va eish    Fire and light in our hands
Beyadeinu Or Va eish    Fire and light in our handsIn the end I enjoyed my son’s Chanukah party, despite getting ten calls from home on my cell-phone during the hour-long event. My son had a good time too. But while the other parents were admiring the display, I was checking for fire exits. I noticed that the windows in the gan had burglar-proof bars and there’s no way that all of those fathers with the video cameras and the mothers with the high heels, not to mention the grandmothers and the big sisters holding babies (but no toddlers), could get out the door in case of fire.

At the gan party of one of our older children, the construction-paper candle pinned to a girl’s shirt (similar to that in the picture above) caught fire from the real candle she was holding. Fortunately, the girl (and the rest of us) escaped and only her shirt was damaged. It’s madness to let four-year-olds walk around a crowded gan with lit candles. During the party last week, the children placed their unlit candles (tea lights mounted on a decorated CD) on the poster, and the staff lit them afterward. So while I think candles in gan should be banned, we have progress.

And on a different note, when will Israelis discover the safety pin? They still use straight pins to attach those candles to the kids’ shirts.

(If you’re wondering which kid is mine, look for the cutest one. The post title is from a popular children’s song.)

Read more on Beyadeinu Or Va-eish — Fire and light in our hands…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (8)

Huge German Holocaust Archive to Be Opened to Public

Here’s something that the Holocaust deniers in Europe and Iran will have a hard time explaining away.

An archive containing records of about 17.5 million Holocaust victims on sixteen miles of shelves, located in Bad Arolsen, Germany, has been opened to the public. The American news program 60 Minutes will be running a story tonight in which they bring three survivors to examine their own records. (That show has been around forever. I remember watching it in the late 70s with my parents, who were big fans.)

As the Germans were notorious for keeping meticulous records of everything they did, this archive will surely be a valuable source for future research when it is opened to the public next year. It will take years, if not decades, for survivors (although they can hardly be spoken about in terms of decades) and scholars to wade through all the material. Perhap some survivors may still locate lost relatives.

At any rate, I believe that we have a while to go before the whole story, at least the part that has not died with its victims, has been told.

Read more on Huge German Holocaust Archive to Be Opened to Public…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Leave a Comment

Gananot on little brothers and sisters

Another truth known to all Israeli gananot (preschool teachers) is that younger siblings should never be brought to a party in the gan. One ganenet actually sent home a poem with a story about a boy who was so upset because instead of watching him sing and dance, the mother was occupied with the little brother. Can you say propaganda?

Now let me be perfectly clear. I have no desire to bring a small child to a gan party. Any party that lasts more than half an hour is torture for me, and much more so for a toddler. My almost 3-year-old, as much as she is insisting that she is coming along, will have to stay home with my older children. But I still remember those years of leaving an older baby or toddler at home with an unfamiliar babysitter and spending the whole party wondering what was happening at home. We don’t have grandparents around and my husband was hardly ever able to make it home in time for those afternoon functions. As for smaller babies who were happy in a sling or on my lap, I just brought them.

And who says that the older child prefers to leave the baby at home? Many preschoolers love their little brother/sister and never got the message that in order to be happy, they must have Ima all to themselves.

It bugs me that instead of just saying that small children are a distraction in a crowded gan, the ganenet tries to make the parents feel guilty for not giving the older child exclusive attention. Obviously, the ganenet’s job is to make sure that the parents notice, for once, that they have an older child and that they don’t always put the toddler first. Didn’t you know that is why gan parties were invented? That is also the justification they give for giving “homework” to the parents, as one ganenet explained: It’s so wonderful when parents actually spend some one-on-one time with their child.

Read more on Gananot on little brothers and sisters…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (9)

What’s your excuse? Leaving children alone, revisited

A few weeks ago I had a lovely conversation with a friendly babysitter in the park. She was telling me and another babysitter how she so much enjoyed working for this family and how close she was to all their four children that she had practically raised herself. The youngest, a baby, is with her all day. She picks up the older brother from gan and the others come home from school by themselves. I went home thinking that if I were to go out to work, that would be the way to do it. No pressure to get the kids out to day care in the morning, no worries with strikes or school letting out early (both common occurrences), being a few minutes late is no big deal, you don’t need to wonder whether the ganenet remembered to send your child on the bus to the tzaharon (afternoon program) and you come home straight to your kids and a reasonably clean house. You know your babysitter and her values, you trust her, and you just hope that she doesn’t get sick too often or quit. I have to admit that I was a bit jealous of that mother and her carefree life (as presented by the babysitter of course).

So I noticed the last few days that the babysitter was coming to gan without the baby. Today I caught her and asked her where the baby was. “Oh, she’s home asleep!” So I started to ask her whether she had heard about the boy from Beersheva, who died from smoke inhalation while locked inside his apartment when his mother brought his younger brother to gan. She said, “It’s only for five minutes! The baby can’t machzik maamad (hold out) after 1:00 (gan ends at 1:20),” and quickly ran off. I think I’ll offer to bring the boy home from gan next time, as it’s on my way. Why she can’t put the baby to sleep in the stroller is beyond me. I’m also surprised that a babysitter would want to take such responsibility, even if the mother approved. Babysitters are usually much more careful to avoid letting their charges climb or otherwise risk injury.

I saw the neighbor mentioned in the post linked above at a recent wedding, and she thanked me for something I had said that day in the park. I had told her that when I was debating leaving a sleeping child at home or some other questionable action, I would ask myself the following question: “If something happened to the child, and I were being tried in court, what would I give as my excuse?” Could I say that I left him sleeping because I didn’t feel like taking him out in the rain? She said it better in Hebrew, with feeling: Mah tihyeh ha-taanah sheli?

Read more on What’s your excuse? Leaving children alone, revisited…

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

Comments (3)

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes

Twitter links powered by Tweet This v1.6.1, a WordPress plugin for Twitter.