My friend Shoshana once told me that she found women’s conversations about food and recipes to be incredibly boring. “What’s the big deal — you buy food and you cook it. Don’t women have anything else to talk about?” Only when she got married did she understand the challenge of planning menus from start to finish.
Comments to my last post on cooking indicate that even experienced homemakers have trouble coming up with ideas for daily meals. I’m opening the floor for suggestions. Here are my guidelines:
Feel free to post ideas, recipes and links in the comments.
While in college, my friend Tzippy and her family generously hosted me for many a Shabbat and Yom Tov. Tzippy’s mother didn’t expect her to help in the kitchen; she told her that she would have plenty of time later, and now she should study and have fun. The mother was right; Tzippy did get married and learned how to cook. I’m sure she consults her mother frequently about the family recipes.
Still, I’m glad to have had a different childhood experience. I left home at 17, never to return for more than a month or two at a time. My mother died when I was 26. I so appreciate the fact that she shared the legacy of her unique blend of Eastern European cooking and modern American techniques with me. The recipes would have survived, but most cooking secrets aren’t found in recipes.
I understand people who don’t have patience for kids in the kitchen. Every mother (and father) has her limits, and knowing that you “should” do something is of no use if you don’t enjoy it. Thanks to my mother, I feel I have something special to share with my children in this particular area, but there are many areas in which parents can share their experience and knowledge with their children.
I probably spend more time cooking than on any other household task. As my older kids grew into teenagers cooking regular meals became almost a full-time job in itself. Even when I do the actual cooking, I can always use help peeling and cutting vegetables. At the very least kids should be able to prepare simple meals for themselves, like scrambled eggs, and know basic safety rules.
First of all, congratulations to the winners of the Jewish-Israel Blog awards.
After you’re finished there take a look at the latest editions of the three Jewish blog carnivals:
Finally, once you have visited all those blogs you can try your hand at Bagel Blogger‘s Mystery Blogger series. Yours truly won the first contest! This week’s challenge can be found here.
Hat tip: Ari Kinsberg.
According to this article, if a woman breastfeeds anyone, even an adult, the two are considered family and the usual restrictions regarding separation of men and women don’t apply. According to Islamic law, that is.
My husband points out that this could cause problems if the two (or their relatives) actually want to marry at a later point.
The Shulchan Aruch, based on the Talmud, allows breastfeeding until age two in all cases, and up to age 4 (or 5, if the child is sick) as long as the child has not ceased nursing for 72 hours. I know a few observant women who have nursed children older than that, but never discussed it with them. According to an article in Kolech’s collection on women and halacha by Dr. Deena Zimmerman, the reason for the restriction is that adults are forbidden to breastfeed (although they may drink mother’s milk indirectly) and the halacha designates the age of four to delineate between the two. I don’t remember what is special about age four, but will try to contact Dr. Zimmerman.
Halacha clearly considers breastfeeding until age two as a minimum. I know someone who thinks that a rabbi should be consulted before weaning a younger child. Whether this halacha applies today, when weaning may not visibly harm the baby, is a matter of dispute. In any case, rabbis need to recognize the health and emotional benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and baby when ruling on the subject.
Sephardi Lady asked me here whether I overestimate or underestimate the amount of help my kids can give. It seems that they always have plenty of time to read, go on the computer and play with friends, and study occasionally, so I guess they are not overworked. I suspect they would not agree! Of course, I am overworked and wish they would do more.
Below is a partial list of the jobs that my kids do regularly. One great thing about having a large family is that you can usually find someone available to help, and at least one child will enjoy doing a particular chore. My 13yo daughter enjoys pouring the boiling water into the thermos on Friday afternoon–go figure. On the other hand, when there are a lot of siblings (or even if there are only two, I bet) they say, “Why do you always ask me?” I once asked if any of them felt that I asked him/her to do chores more often than I asked the others. They all said yes.
The oldest five have a chart delineating each one’s daily chores like setting and clearing the table, taking out garbage, sweeping, making salad, and emptying the dishwasher. The older three (13-17) also all babysit regularly for the younger ones and do their own laundry. They all peel and chop vegetables. In addition:
Despite the long list I haven’t wanted to let go of certain jobs, in particular the actual cooking, and I also don’t ask them to clean bathrooms on a regular basis. I still do most of the Shabbat cooking, partially because all but one are in school Fridays. I also let them get away too often with not cleaning up after themselves and skipping or not completing chores (i.e. leaving a pile of potato peels on the table). Overall their help makes a huge difference, and I really feel it when one is gone or not pitching in. I wish they would cooperate more with each other and not need everything carefully delineated. This is an ongoing challenge.
As for over/underestimating their abilities, you can’t always tell in advance. Sometimes my children surprise me, like my daughter and the eggs. And sometimes they need more guidance and followup than I would have thought.
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