Seven things about Sukkot

I’ve adapted this idea from an earlier meme called “Eight things about me.” (A meme is a cross between a chain letter and a themed blog post.) I changed the number to seven, in honor of the seven days of Sukkot (Tabernacles festival).

1. My husband likes to quote the midrash where one of the nations tells God it wants to accept the Torah, so He lets them try sitting in the sukkah. The hot sun causes them to come running out. My husband never understood this midrash until making aliyah, because the sukkah in the US was always cold and often wet. In particular I remember my mother warning my to be prepared for the cold Ohio weather (she must have been checking the NY weather reports). I would packed a sweater and an extra pair of socks, which was never enough. Our current sukkah gets the southern sun, and we still suffered despite the fan and our seventh floor breeze. It’s cooled down a bit now.
2. My daughter said to me, “Thank you for making aliyah.” We are so happy be be finished with our one and only three-day Yom Tov.
3. Planning for holidays does get easier. I have had the same guests for the first day of Sukkot three years running. I finished cooking late Wednesday, and didn’t have much time to think about organizing the serving, sleeping, or heating up the food. But thanks to a combination of older children, familiar guests, and experience, everything ran smoothly. I even found an old list of items to bring to the sukkah, but the challah knife, salt shaker and soup ladle had already arrived in the basket.
4. On the first day of the holiday I had a run-in with a woman in the shul, whose daughter hurt her hand during kedusha and began screaming hysterically just outside the entrance to the ezrat nashim (women’s section). After the mother came out, I told her that someone else took care of her daughter. Her excuses were a) she was in the middle of kedusha (solemn prayer that one is not supposed to interrupt); b) no one was disturbed by the screaming; and c) she knows her daughter’s screams and she could tell that she was okay. I guess she feels it’s not necessary to interrupt kedusha unless someone needs to go to the emergency room–it still took about ten minutes until the daughter calmed down enough for her mother to go back into the synagogue.
5. My divine retribution for criticizing this mother’s neglect of her child came when my 6yo got left in shul and had to be brought home by someone else. My husband and I each thought he went home with the other.
6. Today my husband went to the early minyan (prayer service) so I could hear my oldest son chant Kohelet (biblical book of Ecclesiastes) in a different shul. Here’s a halachic riddle for you: Even though I brought my own machzor (holiday prayer book), I still had to grab one of the shul’s prayer books and scramble to find the place. Why?
7. Kohelet reminded me of a class I took with Rabbi Jack Bieler in his Manhattan home. I enjoyed the stimulating class, but I most remember the warm atmosphere and Mrs. Bieler offering to make latkes on Chanukah for me and my college friend after I complained about missing my mother’s version. (Now you know why I didn’t go into scholarship.)

Enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Tweet This Post

Happy Sukkot and a Look at Future Posts

Here are some posts I’ve been planning for after the holidays:

• Navigating Shmitah: An observant homemaker’s quest for decent produce during the sabbatical year.
• What I have learned about parenting teens (a very short post).
• My children’s inauspicious start to the school year.
• The most important strategy for saving money while raising a large, or small, family.

In the meantime I wish you all a wonderful Sukkot.

Tweet This Post

Blogging "Al het"

For the posts I planned to write, and the series I didn’t finish.
For not updating the blogroll regularly.
For comments and emails ignored, and worthy causes unpromoted.
For failing to visit and comment on others’ blogs.
For failing to publicize Jblog carnivals regularly.
For failing to link to other bloggers who helped me.

For all these, blogworld, forgive me.

And to all my readers, if I have offended or insulted you in any way in my posts, comments, or comments on other blogs, please forgive me.

Thank you for being a part of my world during the past year.

Gmar chatimah tovah–may God forgive all of us for our sins of the past year and seal us in the Book of Life.

Mother in Israel

Tweet This Post

That’s my fault too, or More Teenage Logic

Me: When are you going to get your teudat zehut (ID card)?
Teenager: I’m not sixteen yet, thanks to you.

Tweet This Post

A Radical Ruling: Breastfeeding and Fasting on Yom Kippur

Our rabbi made an amazing statement this past Shabbat: Pregnant women and nursing mothers whose babies are solely dependent on their mothers’ milk (including babies who take a small amount of solids, generally until 8 or 9 months) must not fast on Yom Kippur. Nursing mothers (and presumably pregnant women; I didn’t hear that part of the speech), , should eat and drink in shiurim starting Yom Kippur morning, and not wait until they have symptoms or see signs of distress in the baby. He said that he based his opinion on a ruling by the Hazon Ish.

Yoatzot.org’s article on breastfeeding and Yom Kippur contains an explanation of shiurim, and a more moderate, mainstream opinion about fasting.

I have always fasted during pregnancy and breastfeeding with no complications. Once on the 9th of Av I was in late pregnancy and the rabbi said to eat and drink with shiurim. The rabbi on Shabbat made the point that while drinking in shiurim, a woman should maximize calories and nutrition by choosing a drink like orange juice over water.

Most nursing mothers make more than enough milk, so their babies do well even if the fast causes a drop in supply. The babies usually reverse this by nursing extra the night and day following the fast. However, in my years counseling nursing mothers I have come across a few babies and mothers who suffered terribly by the end of the fast. I just heard a typical example—the mother was home with a toddler and baby. The baby didn’t stop crying, and the mother was in no shape to shlep the kids to shul and ask a rabbi about breaking the fast. Sometimes a mother knows her supply is low or borderline, or she fasts badly in general, so she asks a question in advance about how to handle it. But often, there is no way to predict when the situation will get out of hand. Our rabbi’s approach is one way to avoid this scenario.

Nursing mothers and their babies are intricately connected. If the mother isn’t producing enough milk for her baby, the mother may be severely dehydrated. Even if the baby will take other food at this point, the mother may need to break her fast for her own health.

The baby is getting enough milk if his diaper output is more or less normal.

Mothers with twins, insufficient milk supply, or exclusively pumping are more likely to notice a difference in supply during a fast.

Before 9 Av, a rabbi wrote in one of the “parsha sheets” distributed in synagogues each Friday that a nursing mother should alternate formula supplements with nursing throughout the day. This is bad advice for several reasons: Introducing formula early can trigger allergies and lower supply. Skipping feedings can cause engorgement, leading in turn to a plugged duct and subsequent infection. Skipping feedings can also affect breastfeeding infertility.

When a mother’s breast is full and her baby is crying, she wants and needs to nurse her baby. A fast day is not the time to begin weaning. Non-emergency weaning should always be gradual, relaxed and accompanied by lots of cuddling and attention.

I don’t believe that Judaism is about replacing a warm breast with a bottle in order to follow the strictest letter of the law. As “anonymous mom” put it on an Orthonomics comment thread about women who leave their children to go to shul: “Our worship is caring for and educating our precious children.” Fasting is a religious obligation, but so is nurturing our children.

An alternative for nursing mothers who do plan to fast entirely is to begin building up milk supply by pumping once or twice a day a few days in advance, so that by the time Yom Kippur comes around the body will be making extra milk and any drop in supply won’t be felt. They will also have breastmilk on hand if required. Keep in mind, though, that supplements of any kind, including pumped milk, lower supply, so avoid it unless your baby really needs it.

Whether nursing mothers eat in shiurim or fast completely, they need to rest as much as possible. Mothers of older babies produce more milk, and they have to run after their babies, so fasting can be harder for them even if their babies do eat some solids. (Remember that babies who nurse on cue continue to get most of their calories from mothers’ milk until 12 months or so.) Preparing kids’ food in advance and planning activities to occupy them can make a huge difference. If you are lucky, you can find a mother’s helper to play with the kids for a while. And many rabbis rule that if the woman can’t fast without help for the kids, the husband should stay home from shul.

Above all, have a plan in case things are not going well.

Wishing you all a Gmar chatimah tovah. May you be sealed in the Book of Life for the coming year.

More on Fasting and Breastfeeding

Tweet This Post