Israeli TV show interviews Keren’s sister, mother

More on Rabbanit Keren thanks to Rafi at Life in Israel, who has been posting regular updates on the story. Here you can watch as the Israeli investigative program Uvda (fact) interviews Bruria Keren’s mother, sister, and neighbors. According to her sister, Bruria was abused by her father as a child, and Bruria’s mother admits that her relationship with Bruria was always strained. Bruria’s explicit dress and provocative behavior as a young adult embarrassed the sister. Bruria met her husband at a party while they were both in the airforce. The couple gradually became more observant, with Bruria taking on more and more absurd levels of tzniut. The sister wrote many letters to authorities pleading for intervention with the children. When the social services representative was shown the correspondence on the air, she pointed out that the letters were sent to the education ministry, and that her department was not informed of the accusations.

When asked about Bruria’s childhood, her mother mentioned that she had four girls one after the other but nevertheless tried to give Bruria enough love. The producers chose to end the program on a similar note, with the mother guiltily repeating that she tried to give enough love. Somehow I suspect that the father’s abuse–the sister said he had hit Bruria with a rolling pin–would have been a more important factor.

In most cases of abuse both parents play a role, even if a non-violent parent “only” fails to protect the children. But it’s much more fun to blame the mother.

In the current situation, there is plenty of blame to go around.

On a happier note, check out Haveil Havalim #160, the Waffles edition of the great Jewish blog carnival also at Life in Israel.

Here is Leora’s flattering post about my new header.

I have gotten some delicious submissions for this month’s KCC on April 7. Don’t be left out.

Finally, it seems that Treppenwitz has a fan in Kenya trying to visit Israel, but the Israeli embassy is reluctant to grant a visa. Only Trep can help, but will he?

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Mikveh tour

A new mikveh recently opened near my house.

You enter through a long, covered walkway. The walkway is unsightly on the outside and caused quite a bit of controversy because the proper municipal approval hadn’t been obtained. It turned out that the walkway blocks the view from someone’s front window. Considering how much money must have already been “sunk” into this mikveh, I can only imagine that the apartment owners were somehow compensated, and the matter died down.

You already get a hint of grandeur inside the walkway, which is decorated with rocks and plants; there is even is a fishpond.

When I got inside the building, it was nearly empty. In the other neighborhood mikveh, which contains about 14 rooms, it isn’t unusual to wait 30-60 minutes.

This time the balanit told that I was going to be “mitpaneket” (spoiled), and led me to the bride’s room.

Most Israeli mikvaot don’t provide toiletries, but this one does. You still need to bring your own towel, or pay extra. By the way, this is a sink (I had to identify it for my husband).

Here is the best shot I could get of the small preparation room. The translucent glass doors allow sound to come through. But the other mikveh has an inefficient air-conditioning system causing unbearable noise in the summer.

I haven’t figured out yet what made this room so special that it is reserved for brides. Every preparation room has the same elaborate fixtures. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any brides at the new mikveh yet. It’s probably because in the other mikveh, brides (and anyone who is willing to pay extra) get a large room with the mikveh (immersion pool) right inside. Here there are only two mikvaot and five separate preparation rooms.

After you are finished, you push a button on the wall to notify the balanit (mikveh attendant). It looks just like a light-switch, so it took me a while to figure out what to do. Immediately the sound of an electronic version of Mozart’s 40th began blaring. (I had to hum that one for my husband in order to identify it for you. He’s the music expert around here.) In the other mikveh, you push a buzzer which sounds briefly and turns on a light on a central board with your room number. Here, the balanit tells you to turn off the music yourself before everyone goes insane.

For the record, this mikveh is supervised by the local religious authority and costs the same as every other mikveh in town- NIS 15 (about $4).

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My new look

I have been wanting to update the design of this blog for a while, but I am graphically challenged (as I may have mentioned). Help arrived in the form of the talented Leora, who blogs at There Here in Highland Park. She designed this lovely new banner and suggested switching to a more readable template. I hope you all like it.

I have had fun emailing back and forth with Leora. It turns out that one of her best friends from high school became my first friend after making aliyah (and she reads this blog). Yet another of Leora’s friends was my college roommate, who still visits me on her occasional trips to Israel.

Leora often highlights her artwork in her blog: See Garden slideshow, Garden watercolor, and Broccoli. And here she explains why her family attends a Sephardi synagogue.

When she’s not blogging, commenting, and gardening, Leora works at http://jewishstudies.rutgers.edu/ where she puts together free online courses on Jewish topics. Currently two courses are available, The Israeli Political System and the Bible and History.

She also enjoys small freelance jobs like this one: http://www.treatmentnj.com/, and is always looking for new projects.

Leora, it has been a pleasure to work with you. My readers and I thank you.

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The Lesson to be Learned from Keren and the Rest

I’ve had enough of the Keren story, at least for now. While gratified by the 1500 page views I received yesterday, I hope to attract visitors through my own writing on parenting, Israel, and the Jewish community. I’m still interested in the hyper-tzniut phenomenon, and I’ll continue to provide occasional updates. But I won’t be speculating about the truth of the abuse allegations and the reasons it may have occurred, nor will I be scouring the press for details.

Bli neder.

Instead, we can learn a valuable lesson from the recent reports of severe child abuse. Every family needs to be part of a connected, supportive community. This is especially important for those of us who made aliyah without our extended families. Last night I attended the bar mitzvah of a boy who lived near the family of the severely abused children from Jerusalem. The children’s neighbors expressed shock that such terrible things could go on without anyone noticing or reporting them. This family of American olim (immigrants), living in the center of the city, did not appear to be on anyone’s radar. And according to reports, the abused baby from Or Yehuda doesn’t have any family member with him in the hospital.

Wherever you live, there are things you can do right now to make your community stronger.

• Call up a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
• Help someone with a new or not-so-new baby: watch older kids, clear the sink, shop, or do the car pool run. Some communities arrange meals for two weeks after birth, but an extra meal can be helpful months down the road.
• Don’t forget other times of transition including a move, pregnancy, illness or death in the family, hospital stay, or family simcha.
• Some people know what kind of help they need, but others will need you to make suggestions. Remember that people are most reluctant to ask when they are at their lowest.
• Don’t be intimidated by the neighbor who offers to prepare Shabbat meals for a family of ten without a second thought. You can make a different contribution.
• If you can’t help with a specific request, locate someone who can.
• When you see people struggling with their kids, give a hand or a few supportive words depending on the situation. Then make a note to discreetly check up later.
• Actively seek out newcomers to the community and get them connected.
• Seek to set up parenting education, breastfeeding support, and other services that strengthen young families.
• Often the most important thing you can do is listen to and acknowledge a person’s feelings of frustration, exhaustion, or anxiety. Afterward you can make suggestions or share a solution that worked for you, but avoid giving advice.
• Finally, set an example and ask for help for yourself; don’t pretend to be completely self-sufficient. Allow others to have the zechut (merit) of helping you.

Maybe, this way, a future tragedy can be prevented.

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Turning up the Heat–In the Kosher Kitchen

Update: I noted below who was already “yotzei.” I received many fantastic contributions from a variety of blogs; if you got a receipt you can assume yours arrived. Please try to get it in by late Saturday night.

In my previous post I wrote about strengthening our local community. Now I am offering you a chance to strengthen your cyber-community.

On April 7 I will be hosting the next Kosher Cooking Carnival. Thanks to those who have submitted posts already, especially Frumhouse, who located a slew of interesting Pesach posts from a variety of blogs.

If recipes aren’t your thing, you can submit a post on Pesach preparations, kashrut, Pesach memories, food traditions and more.

I’m naming names! We’re looking forward to your contribution.

Ima Shalom (consider this a joint invitation)
Ill Call Baila
Therapy Doc
Juggling Frogs (Come back, please)
Hydrangeas are Pretty
Trilcat
Leora yotzei! (obligation fulfilled)
Frumhouse yotzei!
Sephardi Lady
Pesky Settler (who submitted a chametzdik post)
ProfK yotzei!
Raggedy Mom
Aidel Maidel
Around the Island
Mommy’s Going Meshuggeneh
Ima on (and off) the Bima yotzei!
Sylvia-Rachel
Jameel
Rafi
Soccer Dad
Jack (There’s your link and my request.)
Kallah yotzei!
West Bank Mama
Emahs
Safranit
Square Peg
Coffee and Chemo
My Shrapnel
Lion of Zion
Raanana Ramblings

It’s Friday (despite the date of the post) so I’ll stop here but please consider this a personal invitation, even if I didn’t mention you.

If you like you can paste the following straight into your blog–see how easy I made it for you? I hope it works–Blogger wouldn’t let me paste in the actual html.

A Mother in Israel will be hosting the next Kosher Cooking Carnival on April 7, so get cooking! Topics will include Pesach recipes, kashruth on Pesach, preparing for Pesach, Purim accomplishments and recipes for getting rid of hametz. And anything else relating to kosher cooking. You can submit your own posts here, as well as any other posts you would like to recommend. Check out the most recent one, KCC #28 over at Frumhouse. Special thanks to Batya, who organizes the whole thing.

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