2009 April | A Mother in Israel

Stepping Off Your Teen’s Emotional Rollercoaster

A reader writes:

I had 3 sons when my oldest daughter was born. When the boys became teens everyone told me, “Just wait till your daughter reaches that age.” I was worried about mother/daughter issues, clothing, boundary issues, surliness, rebellion. Now she is 12 and what I’ve gotten instead is sudden, unexplained, intense sadness, usually in the evening hours. It’s not every day, and I haven’t found a pattern. I’ve done blood tests and thank G-d all is fine. In general she is a happy, friendly, busy, responsible, independent kid.

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April 30, 2009 · Filed under parenting, teenagers

Yom Haatzmaut—Israel Independence Day Quiz

Tonight and tomorrow mark Yom Haatzmaut, Israel Independence Day. Like most Israelis, we will be invited to a family barbecue. Today my seven-year-old opened the encyclopedia and we came up with questions for a quiz game to bring along. The questions vary in difficulty for a mixed-age group. How many can you get?

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April 28, 2009 · Filed under Israeli living, holidays

Teaching Compassion to Children: Start When They Are Babies

We all want our children to be compassionate, but teaching this in our individualistic culture can be challenging. Here are my thoughts:

Show compassion for your children from when they are babies. A person can only be compassionate if he has experienced compassion from others. We comfort babies when they cry, even when we don’t know the reason, and we don’t let babies cry to teach them a lesson or force them to fall asleep. Showing compassion to babies develops a capacity for compassion not only in the child but also in ourselves. By inuring ourselves to their screams we become less sensitive to the pain of others.
As a child grows, showing compassion when it is not needed can be harmful, like picking up a child’s shoe when she says she is too tired. But usually, focusing on the emotions behind the negative feelings while emphasizing correct actions will take us in the right direction.

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April 28, 2009 · Filed under babies, challenges, crying, parenting

Yom Hazikaron: A Mother Mourns for Her Son

Harriet Levin, next to a picture of her son (Photo: Orly Zeiler)

Today marks the observance of Yom Hazikaron. Sirens went off last night and will sound again this morning, with memorial services taking place around the country.

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April 28, 2009 · Filed under Israeli living, aliyah, army, holidays

Carnivals, and Revisiting Nursing in the Synagogue

A revised version of my post, Nursing in the Ezrat Nashim, is up on DovBear. Update: Be sure to check out the comments.

And you can find Haveil Havalim, the Jewish and Israel blog carnival, at The Rebbetzin’s Husband.

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April 26, 2009 · Filed under Israeli living

Over-Parenting and Daycare Dilemmas

The Over-Parenting Crisis by Katie Allison Granju, author of an influential book on attachment parenting, complains about parents who obsess about every aspect of their children’s development.

This over-parenting has become an epidemic. Legions of well-intentioned mothers and fathers, urged on by popular media and the marketplace, are frantically striving to create an endlessly controlled, bubble-wrapped childrearing environment. From neuroses with regulating our babies’ sleep habits, to insistence on antimicrobial everything, to the attempt to continue “babyproofing” our homes until our babies are well into elementary school, our current parenting zeitgeist is competitive, market-driven . . . and exhausting.

Then Commenter Abbi pointed me to a New York Times blog post about a couple who work different shifts to reduce daycare costs, as I suggested in my post on frugal strategies for young families. During his lunch hour, the husband drives his wife to work at Costco and their 3-year-old and 19-month-old to their daycare for a few hours. Their day ends like this:

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April 23, 2009 · Filed under daycare, economics, fathers, frugality, homemaking, parenting

Carnivals and Links

The Festival of Frugality is up at My Life Roi with over fifty links.

The Maggid of Bergenfield is back with his stories on the weekly Torah portion.

Here at a Mother in Israel we are talking about kosher cooking and washing machine economy. And my post on frugal strategies for young families sparked a heated discussion on daycare.

Kosher Cooking Carnival #41: From Matzah to Lasagna

Welcome to the 41st edition of the Kosher Cooking Carnival, founded by Batya of Me-Ander. Below is a list of previous editions. Write to Batya if you would like to host.

#1 #2 #3 Thanks Ezzie #4 Thanks Sarah #5 #6 #7 Thanks Sadie #8 #9 Thanks Sarah #10Thanks, Elf #11 #12 Thanks Renegade KC #13 #14 Thanks Elisheva #15 #16 #17 Thanks Baleboosteh #18 #19 Thanks Baleboosteh #20 Thanks Mom in Israel #21 Thanks Juggling Frogs KC meta-Carnival, Thanks Juggling Frogs #22 #23 Thanks Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen #24
#25 #26 #27 Thanks Gillian-Food History #28 Thanks Little Frum House #29 Thanks Mother in Israel #30 #31 Thanks West Bank Mama #32 Thanks Soccer Dad #33 Thanks Leora-Here in HP #34 Thanks Risa-Isramom #35 #36 Thanks Baila #37 Thanks Leora #38 Thanks Ilana-Davita #39 #40 Thanks Material Maidel

Without further ado I present the recipes:

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April 22, 2009 · Filed under Pesach, carnival, kosher, recipe

Washing Machines and Laundry: Tips for Making Laundry More Frugal

In honor of Earth Day, here’s a water-saving tip from Paamonim. Paamonim, which I wrote about here, helps Israeli families in debt avoid poverty, and its website contains many money-saving tips. Saving water and energy is not only a personal financial consideration, as natural resources belong to all of us.

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April 22, 2009 · Filed under frugality