It’s stressful having two careers, but it’s also stressful to have the main breadwinner lose his job and have nothing to fall back on (neither savings nor a second income)because the family was relying solely on that one income.Or Gd forbid the breadwinner dies or gets too sick to work. You can’t really predict what will happen in the future and while it’s all in Hashem’s hands, I think it’s our responsibility to also be prepared for such emergencies.

In the same vein, it’s our responsibility to save for retirement, and I think it’s a lot to expect the main breadwinner to support the family and save for both their own and their spouse’s retirement (not to mention an emergency fund). You’d have to have a really large salary and be really frugal to do all that on a monthly basis.

I don’t think mothers are helping themselves or their families if they don’t take these issues into account.

Lastly, I’ll bring up an issue that we’d all like to think has died in the last century but it’s still very much an issue: women who don’t work are more likely to get trapped in bad marriages because they have no way to support themselves or their children. Many feel that it’s to hard/ too late to start a career and make a decent living for themselves. I personally know of two women who are stuck in situations like this.

For that reason alone, I think it’s imperative to encourage mothers to have some kind of career for themselves.

Also, I don’t think having two careers means both parents work 20 hours a day. Many mothers and fathers manage to work it out that one parent has a more flexible work situation to be more available for the children. (at least that’s the case with me, and I doubt we’re the only family who’s figured this out).

~ Maya

Any chance of a post exploring options and experiences on when and how to go to work or stay at home with a small child in the near future? There’s certainly demand.

~ Maya