I want to mention that the main focus of the article was not on downs syndrome but mainly on families who terminated a pregnancy because the child would die soon after birth.
An emphasis was also on the fact that no one talks about this and no one shares with any one at all if they did terminate a pregnancy.

re Ultrasound tests, many are done to diagnose conditions that can be treated straight after birth, not to decide on abortions, e.g. heart defects that will require immediate operation

LOZ – there are 2 psychological factors involved in abortion[space]

And maybe a third factor is the “ick” factor, that of realizing that you are killing something important that is growing inside of you. This is a factor affecting the father as well as the normal maternal factor affecting the mother (who indeed feels the life growing inside of her womb). This is especially true nowadays with all those ultrasounds that often show the growing baby very clearly (and our last two were twins, so my wife got to have an ultrasound every few weeks).

Putting the typical abortion question (Roe v. Wade which always generated the longest threads ever, anywhere, anytime, on all discussion boards or blogs) aside. I put it aside because there is no real point arguing about that since few people are likely to change their minds about it, and almost everyone is firmly in one camp or another. Anyway, for something much more controversial, I think that abortion should sometimes, though very rarely, be required, yes, required. I think that in cases in which the baby is so damaged that after being born, it will live a short, painfully agonizing life, it really ought to be killed while still in the womb. Perhaps it can be looked upon as a kal vachomer of tzaar baalei chayim. Not to equate human and animal life in any way, but if we are unwilling to let a mere animal suffer for no purpose, how much more so should we be unwilling to let a human being suffer for no purpose? However, only Hashem knows the true answer to these questions.

LOZ: that is just it. Tests and precautions are no guarantee. Actually there is a test for the strep carried by the mother. So I don’t know if the doctors here are somewhat at fault. I remember getting a prescription for antibiotics during one of my pregnancies because I had a symptomless case of what the doctor described as strep. I had no idea at the time that the consequences could be so devastating if the condition is not detected and treated. But, really, you never know. I had a preterm baby as a result of placental abruption the day after a completely normal checkup. Happily, she turned out fine. But I had absolutely no risk factors then — she was my second — and carried the next kids to terms with normal delivery even though the preemie was delivered by C-section.

Shiduchim and chareidi community:
Since Down syndrome is not heriditary (except in RARE cases, and this is not the 40 year olds with 6 previous kids…), and today people know this. So very few shiduchim are ruined due to DS. Again, diabetes would be much more of a problem, and are you going to give away a child with diabetes??? Those few who don’t want to marry us because of DS aren’t worth it anyway, if they are such “tembelim”…..

TESTING FOR GENETIC:
The testing in the chareidi community is actually a very good idea, as this testing is for problems that occur only if both parents are carriers of a recessive gene. NO ONE (not even the carriers) know who is a carrier.People are identified by number, and you call in the two numbers. If both are carriers for the SAME disease, they are told that the match is not good. In such a case, they know that they are both carriers of something (which disease?), and since BOTH are carriers, they BOTH shut up as to why the match was not proceeded with

i’m still not sure of the point. i mean i get your point that at the end of the day nothing is in our hands, but the situation you describe is not analogous to the controversial one above. in the situation you describe all was normal during pregnancy. nothing could have been done differently,
the issue is when there is information indicating in advance that there might be a problem and how to act on that information. sometimes the information is not 100% certain. then you have to take account are the lab results a fluke or accurate.

(i could be wrong, but i thought they check for strep before labor?)

the story you tell is a sad one (hoping the baby is ok now), but how does it relate to a situtaion where there is prenatal evidence of a problem?

“you really never know”

every health care decision involves a process of cost (risk)-benefit analysis (yeah, i know that sounds cold)

intersting post

“I am not sure that knowing that a rabbi might allow an abortion helps parents who end up in that place.”

i think it would help greatly. there are 2 psychological factors involved in abortion. one is the maternal aspect and the other is the moral aspect. the rabbi may or may not be able to offer comfort in former, but rabbinic sanction could help put any moral angst to rest. i think this becomes more true as one moves further along rightward into the relgigious spectrum with individuals who are more likely to consult rabbis for these types of questions.