In Tablet Magazine, Dvora Meyers takes readers on a tour of her wardrobe over the years, and how in retrospect, her skirt choices paralleled her journey away from Orthodox Judaism.
In this passage, Meyers describes her ambivalence about wearing pants in public for the first time:
Even with all of my arguments lined up, the final leap to jeans was surprisingly difficult for reasons that had little to do with Jewish law. The problem was that in jeans, I blended in too well. Walking down the main campus thoroughfare or a crowded New York City street, I was invisible to the other Orthodox Jews. I no longer received brief, knowing glances from other frum women on the subway who understood that my skirt wasn’t merely an item of clothing but proof that I was a religious person. But why, after I had frequently sought to distinguish myself from other Orthodox Jews with offbeat fashion and hair color choices and irreverent statements, did I want to so badly to be officially accepted by my co-practitioners? I knew that I was still observant. That should’ve been enough. I suppose a small, deeply buried part of me recognized the adoption of jeans for what it really was—an irreversible step toward secular life. My desire to be seen by other Jews was rooted in the hope that if they still viewed me as religious then maybe their perception would fix my identity and keep me from attempting any further changes.
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