Comments on: Breastfeeding Preschoolers: Not Sensational at All

By: Hannah Katsman

Hannah Katsman — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 13:51:18 +0000

I like that Kathy! Not sure the math worked for me, though.

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By: Ariela

Ariela — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 04:24:08 +0000

You might like this photo of me BFing from a guest post that I wrote for Hannah
http://www.amotherinisrael.com/guest-post-breastfeeding-working-mother/
Again, more power to you. I BF #5 until he was 3 and I certainly stopped because of societal pressure. When he was two and a half I went to a dr. for a breast cancer screening exam and I told him that I was BF. He asked when the baby was born and when I replied 2.5 years ago he said, “what? Do you plan on BF him at his Bar Mitzvah?”

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By: lactmama

lactmama — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 10:40:59 +0000

I am so happy that Jamie posted.

My first reaction at the photo was that the child is pretty big for three, mine were a heck of a lot smaller.

I breastfed anywhere and everywhere. The no. 5 subway in NY in rush hour, with a screaming two year old was one of my favorites.

I do no think of discipline, more like sanity- mine and my child’s. I remember one daughter coming home from kindergarden, tired and worn out, wanting to cry and I would say ‘want to lay down with Mommy’ and she would breastfeed, calm down or go to sleep, a crisis averted. After weaning at around 3 1/2 (we could have waited, in retrospect), I would repeat the same scenario of wanting to lay down with me and she would look at me and say ‘are you kidding?’.

Indigenous cultures – big news, every mom is different. There may be overall tribal customs but the interactions and feelings of every mother are not the same as another mother in the tribe. Breastfeeding is not the total tribal norm, even in the middle of the middle of no where you will find bottles of goats milk or something else. Many times given to the female twin or current smallest person. Family history and attitudes have a lot to do with infant care.

America is uptight, I do not think anyone could imagine the noise that would be made over Jamie’s photo. It is out there and I truly hope that there will be nothing to discuss about it when the child is older and sees it. He will probably think it was a lot of fun. Kids are smart.

Thanks for joining in, Jamie.

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By: Jamie Grumet

Jamie Grumet — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:43:30 +0000

Hey Ariela! Yes thank you so much. Isn’t it funny how our minds like to dwell on the negative. Your comment is the one I should be focusing on. I love that you understand the standing pose from personal experience! More and more breastfeeding in our house has turned into a few seconds just to connect and then run off and play. It’s really quite fascinating for me to watch the weaning process of my children. It’s like what Hannah was saying. This is a part of life, not always a deep spiritual connection with our child. We are connecting and it is part of our social behavior even when it is a few seconds, but it isn’t this romanticized version we see all the time. That being said, I wish TIME would have selected a better photo and tagline for the cover (and a balanced article!) – but we have no regrets and are so proud to be a part of it. Now that the dust is settling and people have forgotten us (funny because people are so worried about 20 years down the line and 2 months later the media and general public, and their attention span, have totally forgotten about us) but they have not stopped talking about the issue. That is exactly what we wanted. Seeing the different organizations and groups that have formed from the global attention on the issue has been beautiful to watch. API wrote lovely comments in their newsletter about the positivity and education from the sensationalism of the cover. Alanis Morissette has done a wonderful job really becoming the spokeswoman for attachment parenting (in an interview the other day they tried to ask her about her music and she kept changing the subject back to attachment parenting!) – Anyway, it has all been very interesting to watch. I especially admire the community of women I’ve been getting to know through this. Normal mom, like me…and they have really gone up to bat to educate people on the truth of attachment parenting and breastfeeding. They didn’t sign up for it, but they took the cover as a personal challenge. They are the true heroes in all of this.
Jamie Grumet recently posted..Meet the Dream Team- Awassa or Bust (dofollow)

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By: MiriamP

MiriamP — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:31:50 +0000

I see what you are saying — but my fifteen year old son doesn’t want *any* pictures of him at any age doing anything on the internet. I’ve had a website with pics of my kids since he was a baby and he wants it all down so that his friends won’t see it. His 13 yr old sister thinks it’s cool to show her friends her baby pictures. And 5 years from now, their feelings may reverse. But as their mother, it’s still my choice to make while they are still minors. Not that I shouldn’t respect their feelings on the subject. I switched to using picasa albums so that I can control who I share the pictures with.

But my point is that a fifteen year old is likely to be embarrassed by any picture of him as a child, breastfeeding or not. he’ll get over it.

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By: Jamie Grumet

Jamie Grumet — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:27:38 +0000

I agree! weaning is a choice! Great point.

I meant more about my child’s likeness being on a cover of a magazine being a choice for our family. The holier than thou comments about their own personal comfort levels for the media with their own children and just silly. As parents that is part of our job, we are making decisions for our children, and most will have long-term effects. We medicate our children, allow them to have surgery (to some considered medically unnecessary), chose their schooling, where we live, how to discipline, the foods we eat, and even our own careers….all of this will impact their lives greatly as adults and none of it is with their consent. Most parents consciously choose what is best for their child and family. Someone suggesting the polling analogy (and choose what is in the majority accepted and parent based on that) is ridiculous. Does that mean that if we move to an area where we have the minority religion we should be in the closet, or convert so our child doesn’t have to deal with bullying of having a different faith? Not to mention not so long ago interracial families were considered vile. Should those parents not have had children because they knew the potential social backlash that would come? I remember when my husband and I were discussing whether or not we should allow our family to participate in the photos (at this point we thought that a small photo would accompany Dr. Sears’ article- crazy it ended up the cover)- We spoke about Carolyn Twietmeyer and her family deciding on publicly disclosing their kids’ HIV status to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS. Again, she and her husband received the same comments we are receiving now about consent. People don’t realize that the vast majority of us that allow our families into media attention like this for a cause (very well knowing it will be negative) do talk about it prior, and in-depth. To see what Carolyn and her family have accomplished by disclosing this information publicly- it is amazing. Another great example is the little girl on the Nickelodeon special with Magic Johnson. Do you remember her? Her adoptive parents allowed her reveal her name and be put on film to speak about her HIV status (during a time when it was not anywhere close to socially accepted- people were treated like lepers). Again, parents got the same flack (horrible backlash at first), but they knew it was important. Do you know what she does now? She is a very outspoken advocate for HIV/AIDS. What she said as a child and now has positively impacted our view of HIV. The treatments that came from the funding after such specials allow people now to have low viral loads and live a normal life expectancy! However, she isn’t done. She is working to dispense the latest ARV meds to all people around the world. Her family taught her to be brave and it is saving lives. That doesn’t mean another family has every right to not disclose their child’s HIV status…..or keep their child out of photos… And that is really what I am saying. Every child is different and every family is different. People are judging based off of their own perception of what our life is. We would be so much better off if we stopped judging each other and started living a more compassionate life. What a burden to carry around so much negativity.

Sorry I went off on a tangent that didn’t really relate to your comment. (This is the first time I read any comments from a post, so I am a little flabbergasted by some of the rumors people actually believed…)

The shoot was so beautiful and so comfortable. That is why I personally was disappointed when I saw the cover photo (I saw it the same time as everyone else). We were going for playful, nurturing, confident, and always content. I feel I look confident in the photo, but that wasn’t the shot even they were looking for with me. The photo from lightbox (of all the mothers) better represents what happened in the studio (Milk Studios was the name! It was a lovely experience)

Sent by my iPhone. Sorry for the typos.
Jamie Grumet recently posted..Meet the Dream Team- Awassa or Bust (dofollow)

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By: Kathy d

Kathy d — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 12:19:24 +0000

Someone told me ones that for every warm and supporting year of mothering through breastfeeding, that child will have a warm and supporting adolescent year. Our job as parents is to be there for our children and help them through difficulties, if this mother is there for her 4 year old, you betcha she will help him get through the teenage years.

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By: Yosefa

Yosefa — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 11:16:17 +0000

I think that other picture is really beautiful. I like all the other pictures better than the cover image. But then again, if they had used a less controversial shot, I might never have seen it. I think it’s the look in the kid’s eyes that make it controversial. He looks too awake or something.
Yosefa recently posted..Very Easy Apple Sauce Cake (dofollow)

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By: Yosefa

Yosefa — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 11:01:46 +0000

Jamie – Thanks for writing. I hadn’t thought about you being a nursing advocate trying to make a statement. I guess I just figured you were a willing model. What direction was the shoot going in? If your son has to worry about his job prospects, I’m sure there are many people who have been on the cover of a national magazine who only wish they could stay famous that long!

You are right that nursing a toddler is very different, but I wouldn’t think of it as a choice you make for your family. Weening is a choice, continuing to nurse as long as your kid wants is just… being a mom.
Yosefa recently posted..Very Easy Apple Sauce Cake (dofollow)

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By: Ariela

Ariela — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 09:45:46 +0000

Jamie, I wrote above that I found the picture empowering. Not all the comments were negative. I have nursed 5 kids in different position and places and “know” the standing up pose quite well.
All the best to you!

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