I met BadforShidduchim at the Second Jewish Bloggers’ convention. She seemed mature and poised, and I wish I had had more time to talk to her.
In a recent post, she asked female singles to rate qualities sought in a marriage partner:
Please order the following characteristics according to their value to a girl from most important to least important: (feel free to add to the list or change it; there is no order to the list; if you don’t understand one of the descriptions feel free to substitute it with whatever you think it probably means)
- Facial Structure
- Body Build
- Social Grace
Many BadforShidduchim readers listed intelligence over kindness. I wrote in the comments that the longer I am married, the more I appreciate kindness. I think it was Rabbi Aviner who wrote that when you look at your date and see a person you trust and feel comfortable with, you realize the other qualifications don’t matter as much. I’m not saying one should ignore looks, intelligence and the rest. As my husband said, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life convincing yourself you don’t mind if your husband is short. But all of the intelligence or looks in the world won’t make up for a lack of consideration.
Since BadforShidduchim’s audience is mainly single, I thought they might appreciate wisdom from those of you who are more experienced. So take a break from the cooking and weigh in.