Next week begins the three weeks of school vacation for the seven-day Passover holiday. The organization Working Parents for Change is working for the government to have fewer vacation days from school and more activities for children during the summer holidays.
Read more on Working Parents and School Vacation in Israel: Proposal…
[Haveil Havalim is up at Shiloh Musings.]
My daughter entered ninth grade this year. This year she has “the best teacher and the best class.” She was able to request a number of friends, and they’ll be together for the next four years.
Her school has six grades, each with about eight classes of thirty girls. The six grades are divided into three batim (lit. houses), each with its own building, vice-principal, secretary, advisor, and two teachers who serve as grade-level coordinators.
The school operates several large volunteer projects:
It’s bound to happen at one time or another when you are out with your toddler. Your neighbor asks you the question you were wondering yourself earlier that day, as you tried to talk on the phone while your son climbed the bookcase: “Isn’t he bored at home with you all day? How old is he again? [Insert any answer here.] Shouldn’t he be in a misgeret?”
Read more on Revisiting the Misgeret, or Is Preschool Necessary…
New immigrant Rachel is undergoing culture shock on behalf of her children.
A friend once told me that I do my children a grave disservice by delaying their attendance in gan until they are 3, 4 or 5. She claimed that they need the gan experience in order to develop that tough exterior so useful in Israeli society. I don’t know if she’s right or not, but every action involves a tradeoff. If you only associate with American families, they will not learn Hebrew as quickly nor the ins and outs of Israeli society. And Israeli culture has positive values such as love of the land, close extended families, and less materialism. Even “protektzia” is positive when you are the beneficiary.
Rachel raises three specific issues.
According to the local paper, two children aged 3.5 and 4 disappeared from gan (preschool) without anyone realizing. At around 11 AM, the ganenet noticed that they didn’t return to the gan after playtime in the fenced area outside. After a thorough search of the premises failed to locate the children, the staff realized that they must have gotten out. The ganenet set off in search of them, going as far as the children’s homes.
During this entire time the ganenet failed to alert any authorities about the disappearance. Finally, at 1:15, she called the police and the children’s parents. The children were found at 2:20, about five blocks from the gan. They would have had to have crossed several busy streets.
Update:
I’ve been thinking about this since I posted, and all I can say is, “What was this ganenet thinking?” The fact that the kids escaped is scandalous enough, although that is not an uncommon occurrence in Israel. But once she realized they were lost, she chose her own reputation over the safety of the children. She hoped to find them herself, and no one would be the wiser. But even if she had found them, they were old enough to talk and presumably would not have been able to keep such an adventure a secret.
Just think how much easier it would have been to find them, had they only been gone ten minutes when she called the police.
Another bizarre part of the story is that no one found the children wandering around this busy area of town (they ended up near the bus station). Israelis tend to get involved when they see children in dangerous situations.
Read more on Two children go missing from gan; found safely three hours later…
My son Y, 6, adjusted easily to kindergarten (gan hova) last September, and loved every minute. When I asked the ganenet (teacher) whether he was prepared for first grade, she dismissed the question with a wave of her hand. I see Y as the most even-tempered and least complicated of my children (not that that’s saying much).
My oldest son graduated from yeshiva high school last week. Brian Blum described his son’s party, and while our sons don’t attend the same school the emotions and experience are similar. Not to mention the disorganization. Our school misplaced the list of graduates and their plans for next year. so while they straightened this out we watched a 15-minute movie by the school’s film majors. Apparently the movie won a prize, and I thought it much better than the one my other son’s high school made the mothers suffer through. That one had been produced by a professional. The students’ film, based on a story by Isaac Bashevis Singer, is about a young engaged man who, in order to prove himself worthy of his fiancee’s family, must correctly render the complicated kiddush for a Shavuot falling on Motzei Shabbat (Sat. eve.). Unlike in Singer’s story, the film’s chatan (groom) spoke fluent Hebrew so unless he suffered from dyslexia I couldn’t quite see the problem. They handled this by portraying him as somewhat clumsy. After the holiday at the fiancee’s home, the potential father-in-law hands the young man a note for his father. Only the closing wedding music indicated the happy ending (at least to clueless me). After the film they took another hour and a half to hand out all of the diplomas, causing the graduation to end at close to 1am instead of at 11:30 as originally scheduled.
As so often happens in large families, two school events this week fell at exactly the same time: my 5yo’s graduation from gan and an “erev horim” celebrating my 11yo son’s class’s completion of Neviim Rishonim (early prophets). The fifth-graders wrote and produced four skits based on scenes from Joshua, Judges, Samuel, and Kings. (No, they make separate plays for I and II Samuel et al.) My son sang in the choir, but he knows the plays by heart and has been entertaining us. David takes out a gun, says, “Oh, guns haven’t been invented yet,” and pulls out the slingshot. After he kills Goliath, they congratulate him and give him a toffee.
My husband represented us at the gan graduation at my son’s insistence. My husband said that every other mother came but me. My son is a bit fickle, because yesterday when my daughter picked him up from gan he asked why she came and announced that he wants either Ima or a boy to pick him up. So today when he asked her to walk him to a friend she refused.
At least I’m not like the columnist in the women’s supplement of Makor Rishon last Friday, who asked his 3yo daughter which parent she loved more. When she said she loved his wife more, he got all insulted and blamed breastfeeding even though she’d weaned two years before. Ask a stupid question. . .
My own 3yo didn’t exhibit a gender preference when we left for the parties and said that she needed either a mother or a father (but not a brother or sister) to stay home with her.
My mother a”h used to say that even though children might say otherwise, when they are sick they always prefer their mothers.
We are setting up our cooperative summer camp differently than last year, forming two groups: kids aged 3-6 who will meet four mornings a week, including one local outing, and a group of 2nd-5th grade girls who will meet three times a week. Because my kids fall into the younger category, I only have to host twice during the first three weeks. (Five families have kids in this age group.) My 13yo daughter will go along with my two little ones to give the other hostesses an extra hand. Small children can be entertained more easily;keeping them all happy last year was quite a challenge.
My 11yo son feels a bit left out, but he can hang out with another older brother from a different family, and go on the girls’ trips if they want. One of the local synagogues offers a daily late minyan and shiur (Torah class) for their age group, and I promised him a chess book in the bargain (to make up for nixing that chess daycamp).
All three of the older boys are travelling mid-vacation to NY to visit my father, along with me and my 3yo. My oldest still has two exams, including a retest, for university courses. He will be off to yeshiva in mid-August, and we have already been informed not to expect him home until after Yom Kippur except for one Shabbat of “Kibbud Horim” (honoring parents). The next son (15) has been looking for work but so far his only job has been taking care of a cat for an hour a day. There are some painting jobs around the house that they need to do, once my husband gets the materials organized.
One of the families in our camp has decided to keep her 3yo daughter home next year as well. As her husband said, “Even if I were a millionaire I can’t see spending NIS 1200/month for a 3yo.” (The mother will be home with their baby at any rate.) We have decided to make a playgroup for the two of them four days a week. Without younger children I will be free to take them places as well as do the usual preschool stuff, and the rest of the time they can play together at home or on my own. This arrangement gives me two full mornings on my own. What a luxury.
A few months ago I would have hesitated before committing myself to this kind of arrangement, which obligates me to to available for two days a week. But my 3yo likes to talk and play with me just about all of the time. I thought it would get easier at some point; it did with my older ones. I wish that I could look forward to having her home for another year full-time, but I want and need to be doing other things. The two girls enjoy being together. For now this is a good compromise.
Back in September, I posted about how I decided not to order the present for my 5yo’s birthday party in gan. I am happy to report that he (and I) seemed to have survived the experience.
The ganenet was none too pleased, but she accepted it in the end.
Just consider it my small contribution toward making Israel a less materialistic society.
Besides the premature birthday party he celebrated with two other boys (and no parents), he also attended a “tiyul shnati” to view the flora and fauna on the banks of the Yarkon river. Despite the fact that I’m (finally) at the stage where I can relatively easily leave the rest of the family to go a four-hour outing, we decided to ask our oldest. After all those years of suffering through overly long gan parties, when I had four small children and no one other than a paid babysitter for the kids at home, I was happy to let the two of them enjoy themselves!
I wanted to take a picture of my 5yo when he got home, full of mud, but he put his hands over his face and said, “Not on your blog!” My 10yo pointed out that the slogan of the trip, “The Northern Yarkon is a Clean River,” did not seem to apply. Considering the Yarkon flows from east to west, we are not sure what to make of the slogan.
Now we have only the gan graduation party to get through (and a 12th-grade one too!). My 10yo informed us that he will be singing at a parents’ evening for his class on the same date.
On Monday I took my 5.5yo to the dentist, who pointed out that has has two sets of bottom front teeth. Now why didn’t I notice that? He said it’s only a problem if the new teeth grow to the height of the old ones before the old ones fall out. He sees two or three cases like this a week, and rarely needs to intervene. For the record, top teeth do need intervention in this case.
In the afternoon we had an appointment at his school for next year for an interview to assess the family’s observance and evaluate the child’s level. This is a Torani mamad, i.e. a national religious school with additional hours of Jewish studies paid for by parents.
We met with one of the male “rabbis” (usually a hesder yeshiva student, who teaches Talmud in 4th-6th grades), the principal, and a first-grade teacher. The rabbi asked him about his unusual name and advised him to speak up and say it clearly and proudly. I noticed that the rest of the day no one asked him to repeat it like they do when I say it!
The principal asked him if he attended the “chug muchanut” (preparation course). I viewed this as a marketing ploy for insecure parents. Why send him to gan for 30 hours a week, if not to prepare him for first grade? Although I understand parents who want their kids to get to know the school, staff, and their future classmates, it’s not enough to make me want to add an extra weekly event to my schedule.
She then asked him what the difference was between gan and school. He said that school is harder. She asked what they learn in school, and he said Torah (does that mean he passed the torani test?) Then she told him she wanted to talk to his mother for a moment, and that he could listen. She asked me whether there was anything I needed from her or the school. I said no. I am probably the only one who said that! She mentioned that they are going to have a Talmud Torah from 2-4:30 each day, with an emphasis on shinun (review of texts to learn them by heart).
Now please keep in mind that most first graders in Israel study from 8:00-12:45, six days a week (gan ends at 1:20; school and gan are not allowed to end within 20 minutes of each other to allow parents to get from one to the other). The additional torani hours (paid for by parents) add an extra five hours a week. They sponsor an optional tzaharon (afterschool program) including lunch, homework supervision, and chugim (extracurricular activities). They want the Talmud Torah to be part of the tzaharon but haven’t quite worked out the details. My 5th grader is in a school that emphasizes shinun, and benefitted tremendously, but I’m certainly not planning to send my first-grader to school until 4:30. Even my 5th grader finishes at that hour only once a week; usually he ends at 2:30. He’s busy enough.
It will be interesting to see whether this idea will be successful in the public religious school; they are clearly hoping to attract a certain type of parent.
Next we met with the first grade teacher. She asked him to identify letters, write his name and some shapes, match cards with pictures of rhyming words, and answer an oral math question. She also asked him to choose the words that began with a particular “tzlil,” in this case the sound tee, and showed him a paper with pictures of tiras, a tik, tinok and tapuach (corn, purse, baby and apple). When he chose tapuach she tried to explain that he needed to choose the intitial tzlil and not simply the initial letter. This was lost on him. I bet they covered that in the chug muchanut.
At any rate, I think we’re in.
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