This post was originally published in 2008, but is still relevant for many parents. Sadly two readers who commented here, Helene and RivkA, passed away within the last few years. It's bound to happen at one time or another when you are out with your toddler. Your neighbor asks you the question you were wondering yourself earlier that day, as you tried to talk on the phone while your son climbed the bookcase: "Isn't he bored at home with you all day? How old is he again? [Insert any age here.] Shouldn't he be in a misgeret?" In honor of my 4-year-old starting gan in a few weeks (we did have an informal two-child playgroup, technically a misgeret I suppose), I share my answers to the … [Read more...]
Fighting City Hall: Get Services for Your Special-Needs Child
January 31, 2013 by 31 Comments
A friend is trying to help an immigrant family access services for a special-needs child. She asked me for ideas, so I called my neighbor who used to work within the special education system. My neighbor's tips were so helpful that I asked for permission to publish them. She agreed and even suggested the title, "Fighting City Hall." When you hear the stories about parents who threw chairs and threatened doctors with violence, it's because the tactics work. I don't recommend these tactics, nor does my neighbor. But it gives you an idea of the frustration that parents experience. Don't expect it to be easy. And from what I hear this is not a problem unique to Israel. Don't give … [Read more...]
Anti-Extremism Project Needs Your Help
January 27, 2013 by Leave a Comment
A woman named Ruth Eglash contacted me for help with a project. Ruth writes: I am looking for Israel/Jewish mothers with sons aged 12-25 willing to fill out a quick online/email survey for international organization Women Without Borders. Here is a short explanation of the project: The Mothers for Change study focuses on the role of women in family life and in society. Women are strategically positioned at the center of the family, where they are the first to recognize resignation and anger in their children. They build an ideal early-warning system when their sons, daughters, or husbands travel down the wrong path. Just as terrorist organizations are able to exploit latent activist … [Read more...]
Getting Support for Teen Crises
August 9, 2012 by 15 Comments
This post is dedicated to the memory of "Ricki", a teenager with Down Syndrome who died in her sleep this week. Blogger RickisMom wrote about the challenges she and Ricki faced bravely in her blog Beneath the Wings, which served as a resource for moms of teens with disabilities. May the family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. Reader pseudo1 sent me this article about parental silence in the face of difficulties with teens. The author, Sarah Buttenweiser, points out that parents who write online about challenges with babies or preschoolers get plenty of support. But as kids enter adolescence and the problems become serious, privacy issues come into play. Online … [Read more...]
Tips for Coping with Strong-Willed Children
July 22, 2012 by 27 Comments
Reader Selena writes in a comment: "I’m currently dealing with a very (!) strong willed busy 3 yr old and trying not to use material rewards. I prefer using positive reinforcement as a tool . . . hugs and praise when she makes a good choice (i.e. use words or get help instead of lashing out on her little brother when he bothers her)." Children are born with different temperaments. Some are quiet, introverted and compliant. But some are loud, disruptive and well, defiant not compliant. It gets really frustrating when a child decides that he does not like your plan for the day, or that she will not stop pouring paint on the carpet, hitting her brother or screaming. Intervening … [Read more...]
My Interview with a Mom in a Wheelchair
July 1, 2012 by 10 Comments
Ariela Gordon-Shaag has been a loyal blog reader and commenter for years. She wrote a guest post on breastfeeding and working, and I interviewed her at Cooking Manager. I met her mother once without realizing who she was, and know a bunch of her cousins. But I haven't yet met Ariela. A couple of weeks ago I posted on the Facebook page about a 2010 post on blind parenting that still gets views and comments. Ariela said, "My mom, a polio survivor, raised 5 kids in a wheelchair and is actively helping raise the 14 grandkids who live nearby (the American grandkids get the short end of the stick). She does a much better job from a wheelchair than I do on my two legs. You might want to ask her … [Read more...]
What about the Children of Tomorrow? Report from the President’s Conference
June 25, 2012 by 11 Comments
Last week I pretended to be a celebrity, thanks to an invitation to the President's Conference--Tomorrow 2012 at Jerusalem's Convention Center. The conference brought together world-class experts in politics, finance, publishing, technology, communications, and Jewish thought from all over the world. Ayaan Hirsi-Ali was one of the most focused and self-possessed speakers I have ever heard. I enjoyed learning about economic decision-making from Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman and poor medical judgment from Dr. David Agus. I loved talking about Jewish writing at a special session for bloggers with Alana Newhouse, the editor of Tablet. But when choosing sessions I was disappointed to find … [Read more...]
Do Children Need (External) Rewards?
June 14, 2012 by 28 Comments
Reader Leah asks: Where do you stand on rewarding children? Do you think it's a good idea to reward children for positive behavior, or for refraining from negative behaviors? Disclaimer: I am sharing my own personal views. Take what works for you and your family, and leave the rest. When my oldest was a baby, a lot of people told me that babies should sleep through the night by the age of four months. One friend quoted her pediatrician, who said: "If you give your child a milkshake every time he wakes up in the middle of the night, of course he is going to keep on waking up." This sounds logical at first. But if you got a "milkshake" just before bed and another first thing in … [Read more...]
Who Will Be Watching Your Kids Next Year?
February 12, 2012 by 36 Comments
Update: I spoke with Shoshana Hayman of the Life Center, who has been meeting with the education ministry to address parents' concerns about the new system. First of all, only 5-year-old kindergarten is mandatory. 3 and 4-year-olds will have free preschool until 2 PM. There will be an option of an afterschool program until 4. Parents who wish to remove their children at 1 PM will be able to, with a note of explanation. "I want my children to have lunch with me at home" is a good enough reason, not "I need to take my cleaning lady to the bus stop." In other words, it should benefit the child. According to Hayman, the education ministry does not see the long day (until 4 PM, or even … [Read more...]
Flexible Maternity Leave: Good for Mothers, Babies or Employers?
November 8, 2011 by 19 Comments
The Neta Center (Women for Bettering Their Future) has proposed altering the laws surrounding maternity leave. Currently, maternity leave lasts for 14 weeks. If the mother has been working in the same position for the previous 10 months, she receives a monthly salary from the National Insurance Institute (NII, or Bituach Leumi) based on the average of her last 3 monthly paychecks. After the first six weeks, the father may take over all or part of the remaining leave. Mothers can extend their maternity leave, albeit without pay, to a full year after birth without risk of getting fired (at least in theory). The National Insurance Institute (NII) is strict about maternity leave. If a … [Read more...]
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