This post was originally published in 2008, but is still relevant for many parents. Sadly two readers who commented here, Helene and RivkA, passed away within the last few years. It's bound to happen at one time or another when you are out with your toddler. Your neighbor asks you the question you were wondering yourself earlier that day, as you tried to talk on the phone while your son climbed the bookcase: "Isn't he bored at home with you all day? How old is he again? [Insert any age here.] Shouldn't he be in a misgeret?" In honor of my 4-year-old starting gan in a few weeks (we did have an informal two-child playgroup, technically a misgeret I suppose), I share my answers to the … [Read more...]
Toddlers and Weight Gain
December 15, 2009 by 24 Comments
Last week I posted about a child put in foster care because the parents refused to follow medical advice to fatten him up with junk food. When experts also failed to increase his weight, the authorities admitted that the parents weren't the problem and the family was reunited. Over the years I've encountered many toddlers who did not eat or gain as much as they were supposed to. Before getting concerned, ask the following questions: Is the child really underweight? As Ingathered learned, older growth charts are based on bottle-fed babies. Breastfed babies are expected to gain 2.5 times their birth weight by a year, not triple like some charts indicate. Children at the 5th percentile … [Read more...]
Tandem Nursing: Guest Post at Mommy News Blog
May 14, 2009 by 2 Comments
I have a guest post up about tandem nursing at the Mommy News Blog. Although my daughter is wearing a kippah in the accompanying picture, it's not meant as any kind of feminist statement. At five years old she no longer wears one. Anyway, now you all know how "radical" I am/was. … [Read more...]
Babies Need Company
February 20, 2009 by Leave a Comment
The alon Talmei Geulat Am Yisrael always has a column about family life. As usual, this has more to do with psychology than Judaism, but the author of last week's column, Varda Virzvinski, makes some valuable points. She is a member of the organization of Rabbinic Marriage and Family Counselors in Israel (which I have never heard of). After an introduction in which she criticizes parents for repeating ineffective techniques, Virzvinski states two principles: One: The relationship between a child and his parents is interactive. Virzvinski explains that when parents respond to behavior they want to discourage, they often end up encouraging it. Lecturing, giving orders, and … [Read more...]
Bamba not related to mysterious deaths of toddlers
December 18, 2008 by 5 Comments
Over the last few weeks, four toddlers have gotten ill and died suddenly of mysterious causes. Two children remain hospitalized; one is recovering and one is still in intensive care. The Health Ministry debated over whether to announce that they are investigating the deaths as they didn't want to induce panic. But if word got out about the investigation, the ministry would be accused of withholding information. They are awaiting final lab results but so far there no connection has been found among the children, who came from different parts of the country and had different symptoms. It seems to be a statistical anomaly, and at least one of the children had previous health problems.Earlier … [Read more...]
Trusting our children
May 11, 2008 by 24 Comments
One of the most valuable lessons I learned as a mother was about relinquishing control."Training" my children to do things before they were developmentally ready wasted time and emotional energy. How I regret those power struggles.Eventually I realized that there were many things I didn't need to teach my children. I could trust them to meet certain milestones without incentives, threats, or persuasion. These milestones included:Sleeping through the night.Learning to use the bathroom i.e. toilet trainWeaning from breastfeeding.Getting onto a "schedule" for meals and naps. Babies generally fall into a routine after a few weeks or months.Eating enough to grow and thrive, if offered a variety … [Read more...]
A cure for insomnia?
December 3, 2007 by 8 Comments
This morning she explained, "That way is a faster way to close my eyes." … [Read more...]
Two children go missing from gan; found safely three hours later
November 28, 2007 by 17 Comments
According to the local paper, two children aged 3.5 and 4 disappeared from gan (preschool) without anyone realizing. At around 11 AM, the ganenet noticed that they didn't return to the gan after playtime in the fenced area outside. After a thorough search of the premises failed to locate the children, the staff realized that they must have gotten out. The ganenet set off in search of them, going as far as the children's homes.During this entire time the ganenet failed to alert any authorities about the disappearance. Finally, at 1:15, she called the police and the children's parents. The children were found at 2:20, about five blocks from the gan. They would have had to have crossed several … [Read more...]
The Truth about Nursing in the Ezrat Nashim
September 18, 2007 by 14 Comments
Which of the following situations is disturbing, distracting, or inappropriate in shul? Cracking open a bag of Bamba for a toddler, who proceeds to distribute the contents around the shul Hansel and Gretel style. Shoving chairs right and left while pushing a monster stroller through the aisle. Blocking the shul entrance with an unattended stroller. Chatting loudly. Repeatedly shushing noisy and restless preschoolers. Allowing preschoolers to run back and forth among their friends. Remaining with a crying baby in shul, even during the shofar blowing (the central observance of Rosh Hashanah). Standing quietly in place, noting that the baby is getting restless, and discreetly … [Read more...]
Minimizing children’s pain
August 22, 2007 by 13 Comments
Treppenwitz posts about the common Hebrew expression used by parents when kids have minor scrapes:"Lo kara kloom," or "It's nothing." Since his blog decided to eat up my comments, I'm responding here."Lo kara kloom" is a way of comforting a child and sending him the messsage that everything is okay. But it is often used to minimize or ignore genuine emotions.Many parents overreact when when their kids get hurt. Yet underreacting can be just asharmful. Have you ever been upset about a situation, only to be told that it's nothing? Years ago I was in a car accident; my ribs were badly bruised and painful. For many reasons, the accident was traumatic and it took me a month to recover. I resented … [Read more...]
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