How to Make 550 Shidduchim

In yesterday's Makor Rishon, Yael (Freund) Avraham published an entertaining interview with matchmaker Tova Schmessian. Despite being bedridden because of paralysis, she has fixed up some of the most hopeless prospects and made 550 matches over the last 40 years. Many of her clients have … [Read more...]

How to Tell If Your Date Might Be an Abuser

If you or your children are dating, you may wonder how to spot an abuser. In this guest post, Daniella Levy tells us the warning signs. People tend to believe that violence is a random, unpredictable disaster.  “It was totally out of the blue!” “He was always so nice!”  “There’s no way we could … [Read more...]

A Cosmetic Solution to the Shidduch Problem

In a marriage market where men are scarce, Yitta Halberstam of the Jewish Press advises young women to take care with their appearance. Update: Halberstam Defends Her Stance Ironically, Halberstam noticed the neglected appearance of the Beis Yaakov grads at an event intended to humanize the … [Read more...]

The Changing Cost of Shidduchim in the Haredi World

Haredi educators are noticing that the age of marriage is rising. According to an article in the Hebrew edition of Mishpacha, only 10% of students in a particular seminary got engaged last year instead of the normal 50%. According to the shadchanim (matchmakers) quoted, only 5-10% of girls’ … [Read more...]

Calling Happily Married People (Or Not)

I met BadforShidduchim at the Second Jewish Bloggers' convention. She seemed mature and poised, and I wish I had had more time to talk to her. In a recent post, she asked female singles to rate qualities sought in a marriage partner: Please order the following characteristics according to their … [Read more...]

Shidduch Investigations

Cross-posted at DovBear In some Orthodox Jewish circles, marriages are arranged by the parents (shidduchim). The parents investigate the other side before the couple can meet. Much has been written about irrelevant concerns, such as whether the family uses white tablecloths on Shabbat. Here … [Read more...]

Who are you waiting for, Miss America? Guess not.

Last night we went to the shiva for the mother of an old friend. The friend told how her mother's mother studied piano with Bess Myerson, the first (and only?) Jewish Miss America. My friend's great-grandmother tried to fix up one of her sons with Bess, but they weren't interested. If I have it … [Read more...]

“Your Daughter is Smart, but You Don’t Have to Worry”

Our friends recently met their 15-year-old daughter's teacher at the semi-annual parent-teacher conference. The daughter attends a religious Zionist girls' high school, whose matriculation scores regularly rank it among the top three schools in the country. The teacher told them, "Your daughter … [Read more...]

Rashi’s Daughters, Book I: Jocheved

My friend, who ordered Rashi's Daughters, Book I: Jocheved by Maggie Anton for our book club, asked me to read it and tell her my thoughts. Not having read any reviews I didn't know what to expect.Anton introduces us to the life of the renowned classical Biblical and Talmudic commentator Rabbi … [Read more...]

Hiding mental illness for purposes of shidduchim

I have copied an excerpt of a letter to Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis. See the link for the entire question; she doesn't seem to have responded yet. . . . Now, here is our dilemma: Are we obligated to tell the shadchan, the girl and her family? My husband and I are conflicted. I say “yes”, but he … [Read more...]