It’s  11:00 PM. It’s NaBloPoMo.

I made a Facebook Page for CookingManager.Com. Not only did I create it, I even followed a video tutorial to make an interactive sidebar. The sidebar isn’t much, but according to Facebook none of my friends uses that application. My Facebook fan page is the cutting edge.

Read more on Okay So This is the NaBloPoMo Test…

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Read more on Shabbat Meme: Challah, Yevamot, and Naomi’s Stomach…

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Leiv Esther reviewed MikvahCalendar, a new website for married Jewish women who use or want to use the mikveh. You can specify whether you prefer the customs of Chabad, YU/Rabbi Willig, or “choose from available options.” The site looks easy to use, but I could do without the flowery copy: “May divine blessings of spiritual and material well-being continue to rain down and permeate your marriage and your home.”

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Glossary below.

Two holidays are so special that the preceding Shabbat has special significance: The Shabbat before Pesach is known as Shabbat Hagadol, and the Shabbat before Yom Kippur is called Shabbat Shuvah. The rabbi always gives a special shiur on the other two special sabbaths. Tomorrow he will be speaking on the approach to Torah study of Rabbi Schneuer Zalman of Liady, author of the Tanya.

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Chanting the Torah takes skill and preparation, so traditional synagogues assign someone to chant the weekly biblical portion. Sometimes members take turns, while some synagogues hire a professional. Lion of Zion is one such professional who often writes about the intricacies of the cantillation symbols.

My husband has been chanting, or “leining” as it is known in Yiddish, since before his bar mitzvah. He has prepared every portion at least once and tries to review each week, since he never knows when he will be called on in a pinch.

A few weeks ago he arrived in the synagogue to learn that the neighboring synagogue sought him as a last-minute replacement. My husband declined, as he was scheduled to read in ours. But when the rabbi got up to speak before the Torah reading, my husband decided to check if he was still needed. He asked our son to run and get him as soon as the rabbi finished.

He got to the second synagogue just as they were taking out the Torah scroll. They were glad to see him. I don’t know whether he speeded up his pace or not [he just told me he did], but he returned in time to catch the last twenty minutes of the rabbi’s speech.(*) Fortunately the rabbi has what to say.

(*)Depending on the length of the weekly portion, reading can take 20-40 minutes.

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The responses to my post about the unfriendly woman in shul ranged from “She’s shy” to “She’s a snot.” I think the answer lies elsewhere. First let me give an update.

One day in September while I waited for the gan to let out, she did come and sit next to me. She asked how I was, and I asked her what she was doing. After she told me I waited, and she then asked what I was doing. This was by far the longest conversation we have ever had. After Yom Kippur she approached me in shul and said that because our children had played together over the holidays and gotten to know each other, she was sure they would now be good friends in gan.

I believe that Americans and Israelis have different approaches to relationships. While some Israeli women are friendly and gregarious, the majority are more reserved. When I see someone on a regular basis, say in shul on Shabbat, I will begin to greet her when I pass her on the street. But some Israelis would need to have more in common with someone before acknowledging me. It sounds snobby, but I see it as a cultural difference.

I don’t mean to say that Israelis can’t be snobs. Snobs exist everywhere.

I mentioned this issue to my Israeli friend, O, who recently returned from a few years in Europe. She pointed out that as an English speaker living in a Hebrew-speaking country, I have an immediate connection with other English speakers even if we have little else in common. It might not be fair to compare the friendliness and closeness I feel among my English-speaking friends to the situation in my synagogue. O. has a point–any feelings of isolation among native Israelis might be exaggerated because of the contrast of my connectedness with fellow English-speakers. However, I am beginning to feel much more comfortable in our shul (although it’s been over seven years!).

Those who live in places with large groups of English speakers, like Beit Shemesh or Raanana, might not have the same experience. Wait until you are in a Hebrew-speaking course and discover one other English-speaker–you are likely to be friends for life.

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People expect to pray peacefully on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. But the shul is overfull and there are distractions. Especially children.

The acceptable level of noise and activity varies according to the community and physical facilities. But one person’s kavanah (concentration during prayer) should not come at the expense of others’. Just because a mother can tune out her children during davening doesn’t mean everyone can.

On Yom Kippur, I mentioned to a friend that her two-year-old had pushed down a child in the aisle. The other child went to his mother to be picked up, without crying, so my friend hadn’t noticed. This happens. But if parents can’t keep an eye on children who wander, the children may be better off at home.

Reports from other communities:

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A member of our shul, a mother of five, lost her fight with cancer on the first night of Rosh Hashana. When the family realized that her death was near, they checked her into the hospital and stayed with her. Had she died at home, the burial would have taken place on Yom Tov with the family walking to the local cemetery. But the hospital storage facilities allowed the funeral to be postponed until Motzei Rosh Hashanah. Close to a thousand people attended including the mayor, whose son had been her student.

When my own mother died I learned that most people continue to leave shul during the Yizkor memorial prayer until after the year of mourning. We found that there was not much basis for this custom, and the rabbi said I could do what I want (I went). I noticed that the teenage daughter, who had finished shiva only the day before, did stay for Yizkor. In our shul, the chazan (cantor) says a prayer in memory of the members who have died over the years. The mother’s name was read for the first time.

May her family take comfort from her memory during the coming year.

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Square Peg sent me a list of songs from the davening, compiled by Jerusalemite Chani Abramson. If you are home with small children tonight or tomorrow, you can print out the list to remind you of songs to sing along with the kids. The list is in Hebrew and does not include musical notes–you have to know the tunes.

It’s hard to run a blog without offending anyone. If something I wrote or didn’t write offended you, whether on this blog or another, please accept my apology (and feel free to write me and clear things up).

I wish all of you an easy and meaningful fast, and a gmar chatimah tovah–may be be sealed in the book of life for the coming year.

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