Handy Segulah Chart Rates Effectiveness

????

This is from the Facebook page of Gornisht KeCharedi Gamur, who got his start leaving entertaining “talkbacks” on articles in the Hebrew press relating to Charedim. Very few people know his identity, but it’s clear he understands the charedi world very well. I wrote to him, and he says he doesn’t know the source of the chart.

The chart lists common segulot—or good-luck charms—such as hanging a photo of a righteous rabbi, hosting an “Amen” party, travelling to Amuka, or dipping in the mikveh for 40 consecutive days. and rates them according to various criteria.

Example: Traveling to Oman (the grave of Rabbi Nachman of Breslav, in the Ukraine)

Purpose All
Price Very expensive
Level of Difficulty Light
Effectiveness Depends
Embedded Mitzvah Prayer for Travelers
Embedded Sin Loans with interest
Target population Legume eaters (i.e. because of difficulty of finding kosher food)
Trendiness Hysterical
Time of implementation When the lights have finished (I think this is because Breslavers are always looking for light)
User experience Lights
“Genre” Bizarre, spiritual, social
Self service Only our rabbi
Source of custom Popular
Option for expansion Gan Sofia
Alternative Remain a proud Sephardi

Related: Speed All You Want, Just Give a Small Donation First

Comments

  1. LOL! 🙂
    BTW, I think it says trendiyut (i.e. “trendiness”) and not tragediyot (“tragedies”)…

  2. I think “legume eaters” refers to Sephardim in general due to their propensity to become Breslovers and go to Uman.

  3. Haha, this is hilarious, I must send it to my husband!

  4. source of custom: popular is the correct translation, not national!

  5. B”H

    I am no fan of segulos, and am particularly no fan of when jews force me into them. (Hold the chuppah poles! Hold the chuppah poles!)

    But, this looks interesting. I’ll check it out!

    Thanks for providing it.

  6. This is hysterical. My hands-down favorite is ‘amar rabbi binyamin”. Works every time without fail.

    What’s the 40-day mikvah thing? never heard of that?

  7. Is there a chart available in English?
    Thank you.

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