Party Poopers
Tomorrow is Y’s mesibat siddur (prayer-book party), a rite of passage for Israeli first graders. They are supposed to have it around Chanukah, when most of the children have mastered reading. I’m not sure what happened.
My philosophy regarding school parties is that the more elaborate the production, the more the children suffer. They’ve been rehearsing for about eight weeks and Y complains every single day. He doesn’t like the boy he’s partnered with for their diklum (recitation). He tallies up how many gym lessons and recesses he’s missed, and expects them to be returned. His weekly geometry lesson hasn’t taken place in ages.
He even complains when they don’t rehearse, because (he thinks) that means they will have extra rehearsals the next day. When I asked one of the teachers about the all the practice she said they should have started even earlier. And Y seems to be doing okay with the requirements–I can only imagine what it’s like for those who are less coordinated.
The schools see the mesibat siddur as a major way of showcasing their school’s virtues. If the first-grade parents are impressed, they will rave about it to the parents of incoming first-graders, who are making their decisions just about now.
I can tell you about one parent who is not impressed.
A few days ago we got a long letter outlining guidelines for the party. It’s “recommended not to bring younger siblings . . . This is ‘quality time’ with your child.” How is viewing a performance considered “quality time” with one’s child, especially when grandparents and older siblings are encouraged to come? Okay, I can see that the younger child could distract attention from the “star.” My older daughter, who will be babysitting the “younger sibling,” suggested that I stay home and spend quality time with them instead. (I’ve posted about this here.)
We can’t take pictures, because it “blocks the view of others.” But guess what– for NIS 65 (about $20) we can order a DVD of the production, along with a professional photograph of the child with his parents. Do I need to tell you that I declined?
To top it all off, my son told me tearfully tonight that he doesn’t want to go, because he forgot when to say his line. I promised him someone would cue him, but it didn’t help. We’ll speak to the teacher tomorrow morning (bli neder–really!).
Related: Leave the Baby a Bottle of M*
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Raizy Said,
April 1, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 11:40 PM
I totslly hear what you’re saying. School plays used to be so simple- they’d line the kids up on stage, wearing a paper hat of some sort, and the kids would sing a few songs, and maybe swing some streamers or flashlights around. There would always be one kid who would sing louder than the others, one who wouldn’t sing at all, and one who would pick her nose or lift up her skirt. When it was over, all the parents clapped and hugged their kids, and the children would get cookies and juice. Simple.
Now it’s a pressure filled 3 month long project designed to impress the parents, who really aren’t impressed at all because they see the stress their child is being put under to perform. I agree with you- it’s way overdone. But I’m willing to bet that talking to the teacher tomorrow is going to get you absolutely nowhere.
RaggedyMom Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 12:43 AM
Last year, Ann had a Chanukah performance that was simpler than a siddur presentation, but along those lines in intensity/preparation. It had to be juuuuust right.
This year she had a Purim workshop that was more like the former type of presentation described by Raizy above. They sang a few songs, made some projects with the parents, had some nosh, v’gamarnu.
Guess which of the two years she had Israeli gannanot?
It’s annoying that the kids are used as a marketing tool for next year’s prospective parents. I remember feeling irked and slightly used when I complimented last year’s ganenet on the show, and she asked me to please write a letter about what I specifically liked about it, which I later found hanging in the hall outside the class, along with similar letters. Didn’t realize I was writing an advertisement.
I hope Y has some enjoyment amidst all the atzabim!
Leora Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 2:29 AM
Some of this seems to be more about the teacher’s needs for perfection(or as you pointed out, the school administration’s needs to attract new first graders) than the kids’ needs. I remember seeing Simchat Torah flags supposedly made by nursery school students that seemed “perfect”: ‘we can’t let the kids mess them up,’ responded the teacher, who had clearly done most of the work herself.
Robin Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 3:53 AM
Poor Y, they really seem to be taking all the fun out of it
. Itai’s play was for zaharon. Yes, they practiced for months, but by doing that they kept the practice time limited and still had plenty of time to play each day (and it was zaharon, not school, so not at the expense of class time or recess). So far at least his school events have been much more minor, small recitations during the day, parental attendance optional. Not sure what they do for the end of the year, but whatever it is they haven’t started doing it yet.
As for the no pictures, are the parents really going to abide by that? In all the events my son’s been in the parents have been climbing over each other and the furniture to get pictures. I missed seeing the moment he got his kg graduation certificate because one cow of a mother stood up right in front of me. When I called her on it she said, and I quote, “so what, big deal, I needed to get a picture of my son”!!!
Lion of Zion Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 6:02 AM
i’m sure your son will do great
“They are supposed to have it around Chanukah”
i witnessed a beautiful siddur party at the kotel a few years ago. i don’t remember exactly when it took place, but it was definitely after hanukkah.
Lion of Zion Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 6:03 AM
for pictures of that siddur party:
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2007/07/kotel-appropriate-and-inappropriate.html#links
nikki Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 7:11 AM
my youngest just had her misibat siddur last week. finally, they got it right! scheduled for friday morning, so all sibs are taken care of and accounted for, set in a local shul so it lends a sense of importance and relevance to the event for both children and parents, one class at a time (there are three classes for each grade level in my child’s school), so it was small and intimate, and since it was in a venue other than the school, there was a time limit — one hour, including remarks made by the mayor of the town, the principal and the mechanechet. after sitting thru three of these (including older daughter’s three hour marathon!!!) they finally got it right!
Safranit Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 7:12 AM
Our siddur party was in the Old City..a few weeks ago. The parents had the hard job (covering the siddur) and the kids had sort of a tour/scavenger hunt in the Old city. The only problem being that it lasted 2 hours!
Last night we had the performance about Shmita for the girls school. 5th grade (the oldest kids) did a play and it was interspersed with dances by the other 4 grades) This meant that my daughter had to learn two dances and one song. That is less than what they did at Gan previously–and I was thrilled. It was really beautiful.
Safranit Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 7:12 AM
Our siddur party was in the Old City..a few weeks ago. The parents had the hard job (covering the siddur) and the kids had sort of a tour/scavenger hunt in the Old city. The only problem being that it lasted 2 hours!
Last night we had the performance about Shmita for the girls school. 5th grade (the oldest kids) did a play and it was interspersed with dances by the other 4 grades) This meant that my daughter had to learn two dances and one song. That is less than what they did at Gan previously–and I was thrilled. It was really beautiful.
Squarepeg613 Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 7:16 AM
My daughter isn’t keen on performing. She took group recorder lessons at school for two or three years and enjoyed learning to play. What ruined it for her was the intense preparation for the yearly performances, especially one that shows off a whole bunch of schools. She eventually quit because the pressure outweighed her enjoyment.
OTOH, I think there is some value in some school performances. I see that often the kids who get showcase roles are the ones who aren’t necessarily excelling in the classroom. I see it as a way for the teachers to kind of give everyone an opportunity to shine, including the kids who aren’t so academic or have trouble sitting quietly.
The part about not taking pictures sounds strange. I would take a camera, just in case. (And if you don’t get a picture, well, so you don’t. Until we got a digital camera with zoom, we never got a decent picture from these parties. I don’t think it’s affected my kids too much).
Vicki Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 10:35 AM
There often seems to be a mismatch between what the teachers want and what the parents would like, with the children somewhere in between. i complained bitterly to the school about the amount of time invested in my daughter’s graduation from primary school play, and (different school, same daughter) about the fact that for her siddur party, they learnt songs in yiddish with no idea what they meant. Now there seems to have been a bit of a swing the other way. My 9 year old BY daughter particiapted in a beautiful Chanukah song medley, originally just as a school assembly, but it was so good that the school invited the mothers in another day to watch it.
what is really fascinating is the difference in perfoming ability between the girls, who are able to sing, dance and act at quite a young age, and the boys, who struggle to remember an action to do with a song
RR Said,
April 2, 2008 - 26 Adar II 5768 @ 10:36 AM
We had our siddur party last month. There was at least a month of rehearsals. The party was during the evening, and we were also told not to bring siblings (we didn’t, but of course many people did)- a few years ago another kid has his ceremony on a Friday morning and it was so much easier.
The ceremony took FOREVER. The mayor made a speech, and so did several teachers, the principal, and some other guy whose function I can’t remember. Long speeches. I felt so bad for all the first graders sitting in place, bored out of their minds (as were the parents) waiting for the speeches to be over.
We were also told “no pics, but you can buy a video….” As you can imagine, there was a crazy amount of parents jockeying for position with their cameras.
The kids’ singing and dancing was lovely, but it was really too much. Too many songs, too many production number. It went on way too long and I think we all would have appreciated a simpler, shorter ceremony. Many of the first-graders were yawning up there towards the end.
SephardiLady Said,
April 3, 2008 - 27 Adar II 5768 @ 3:05 AM
I appreciate the extras of education beyond the three r’s, but they shouldn’t end up taking over a classroom either.
Baila Said,
April 3, 2008 - 27 Adar II 5768 @ 5:26 PM
It sounds like everyone came through unscathed.
Mazal Tov. May all your son’s tefilot be answered….
Leora Said,
April 3, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 7:05 PM
Glad it worked out so well.
When my son was 6, he was forced to be in a camp play. A friend remarked he looked like “a deer caught in the headlights”. It’s great your son got to watch and enjoy the show.
nikki Said,
April 3, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 10:49 PM
you gotta love the boy/girl division of labor. when we first made aliya, a group of american-raised like-minded parents innocently asked older daughter’s gannenet why there couldn’t also be a chazzanit for tefilla — the woman nearly had a heart attack.
nikki Said,
April 3, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 10:49 PM
you gotta love the boy/girl division of labor. when we first made aliya, a group of american-raised like-minded parents innocently asked older daughter’s gannenet why there couldn’t also be a chazzanit for tefilla — the woman nearly had a heart attack.
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:18 AM
Thanks, Baila and Leora.
Nikki,great story.
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:18 AM
Thanks, Baila and Leora.
Nikki,great story.
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:18 AM
Thanks, Baila and Leora.
Nikki,great story.
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:18 AM
Thanks, Baila and Leora.
Nikki,great story.
Batya Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 4:59 AM
Did you say 2 hours?
Rather too much, I’d say.
I don’t like the fact that women clean and men doven.
Batya Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 4:59 AM
Did you say 2 hours?
Rather too much, I’d say.
I don’t like the fact that women clean and men doven.
Batya Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 4:59 AM
Did you say 2 hours?
Rather too much, I’d say.
I don’t like the fact that women clean and men doven.
Batya Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 4:59 AM
Did you say 2 hours?
Rather too much, I’d say.
I don’t like the fact that women clean and men doven.
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
“diklum”
?
“darbuka”
?
“unlike his mother, who kept offering to take him down to join the others”
an interesting post would be when does/doesn’t a parent force a child to do something
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
“diklum”
?
“darbuka”
?
“unlike his mother, who kept offering to take him down to join the others”
an interesting post would be when does/doesn’t a parent force a child to do something
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
“diklum”
?
“darbuka”
?
“unlike his mother, who kept offering to take him down to join the others”
an interesting post would be when does/doesn’t a parent force a child to do something
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
“diklum”
?
“darbuka”
?
“unlike his mother, who kept offering to take him down to join the others”
an interesting post would be when does/doesn’t a parent force a child to do something
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
that was me, lion of zion
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
that was me, lion of zion
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
that was me, lion of zion
Anonymous Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:04 AM
that was me, lion of zion
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:26 AM
I translated diklum in the last one so I thought I didn’t have to do it again–I’ll add it in. It’s a recitation. A darbuka is a kind of drum; they are so popular here I just assumed everyone knew what they are.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblet_drum
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:26 AM
I translated diklum in the last one so I thought I didn’t have to do it again–I’ll add it in. It’s a recitation. A darbuka is a kind of drum; they are so popular here I just assumed everyone knew what they are.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblet_drum
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:26 AM
I translated diklum in the last one so I thought I didn’t have to do it again–I’ll add it in. It’s a recitation. A darbuka is a kind of drum; they are so popular here I just assumed everyone knew what they are.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblet_drum
mominisrael Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 5:26 AM
I translated diklum in the last one so I thought I didn’t have to do it again–I’ll add it in. It’s a recitation. A darbuka is a kind of drum; they are so popular here I just assumed everyone knew what they are.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblet_drum
Robin Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:05 PM
I’m glad you all ended up with a positive experience and that Y was able to celebrate his learning in a way that was right for him.
Shabbat shalom from down the road.
Robin Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:05 PM
I’m glad you all ended up with a positive experience and that Y was able to celebrate his learning in a way that was right for him.
Shabbat shalom from down the road.
Robin Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:05 PM
I’m glad you all ended up with a positive experience and that Y was able to celebrate his learning in a way that was right for him.
Shabbat shalom from down the road.
Robin Said,
April 4, 2008 - 28 Adar II 5768 @ 2:05 PM
I’m glad you all ended up with a positive experience and that Y was able to celebrate his learning in a way that was right for him.
Shabbat shalom from down the road.
Elanit Said,
April 4, 2008 - 29 Adar II 5768 @ 9:53 PM
Did you know that there is an ad here to contact Russian women, “Anastasia International.com”? Doesn’t seem like an ad that belongs here…
Shabbat shalom from DC.
Elanit Said,
April 4, 2008 - 29 Adar II 5768 @ 9:53 PM
Did you know that there is an ad here to contact Russian women, “Anastasia International.com”? Doesn’t seem like an ad that belongs here…
Shabbat shalom from DC.
Elanit Said,
April 4, 2008 - 29 Adar II 5768 @ 9:53 PM
Did you know that there is an ad here to contact Russian women, “Anastasia International.com”? Doesn’t seem like an ad that belongs here…
Shabbat shalom from DC.
Elanit Said,
April 4, 2008 - 29 Adar II 5768 @ 9:53 PM
Did you know that there is an ad here to contact Russian women, “Anastasia International.com”? Doesn’t seem like an ad that belongs here…
Shabbat shalom from DC.