Rafi left the following comment on the story of the principal from Beit Shemesh who threatened a student with social isolation:
It is sad that this is happening, and I don’t understand why the parents insist on sending the kid to this school that doesn’t want her. Whatever the reason is, right or wrong, why not just send to another school? There are so many, why davka (specifically) the one that refuses to take you?
I don’t blame the kid, and the school’s behavior is revolting, but some blame must be laid at the feet of the parents as well. Maybe it really is not the right school for this kid and they are simply insisting for stupid reasons.
Parents have all kinds of reasons to send to a particular school. The argument—that parents should not send a child to a school where she is not wanted—must be rejected out of hand. If we accepted this logic then American public schools would still be segregated. Children with physical and mental disabilities would never go to a school with “normal” children. And so on and so on.
Let’s give these parents the benefit of the doubt and assume they considered all their options. Let us also assume they are prepared to give her the emotional support she needs to deal with the situation. After all, who is to say she wouldn’t face a similar attitude in any haredi school she tries to attend? From what I recall of the story, the girl was rejected from several schools. This one is her neighborhood school, which is why it was instructed to take her. Perhaps the parents don’t want to make her travel.
Even if my assumptions are incorrect, what about the next child who receives an unjust rejection? Should her parents also slink away and find another school?
Accusing parents of harming their children, making trouble, or not knowing their place, are classic methods of diverting attention from the issue at hand. Note how the principal blames the mother for the whole situation, including the strike, and asks twice, “What kind of mother [are you]?”
Anything is “kosher” as long as it gets parents to back off.