Marjorie Ingall wrote an article in Tablet Magazine called Bottled Guilt, where she argues that Jewish women are set up to feel guilty when breastfeeding doesn’t work out. The desire to raise intelligent and healthy children is entrenched in our genes, and for most of us successful breastfeeding is our first parenting goal. The only Jewish women I have met who (admitted that they) did not intend to breastfeed either had medical contraindications or were traumatized by their first experience. I think another reason modern Jewish women are predisposed to breastfeed is that Jews in the Diaspora are used to going against the grain of popular culture. I completely agree with Ingall’s … [Read more...]
Empathy, Mother-Guilt, Shabbat, Career Skills, Anger, and Idleness
May 20, 2009 by 3 Comments
RaggedyMom showed me this CNN story about developing children's social maturity. In a fourteen-year study, the preschool children of mothers who described a picture using emotional language showed more empathy and better social skills when they got older. It is important to encourage children to think about others' feelings from a young age. However, I was dismayed by the first line of the article: Mothers often get blamed for the way their children turn out, and a new study gives additional weight to that accusation. Let's stop blaming mothers, who make mistakes like everyone else. Most of the time they are acting in a way prescribed by our culture, which, the last I heard, is … [Read more...]
Sex vs. Breastfeeding
October 9, 2006 by 10 Comments
Note: The columns by Rabbi Boteach are no longer available online. Rabbi Boteach urged a mother of an 11-month-old to wean in order to preserve her marriage. I agree with him that having a strong marriage is a top priority. If one or both partners are unhappy the children will suffer, and will suffer even more in case of divorce. If you have to choose between a strong marriage and breastfeeding an older baby, I can see choosing the marriage. But why should a woman be forced to choose between her husband and her baby? R. Boteach, despite having had eight children, is clearly not an expert on normal child development. It's normal and desirable for year-old babies to need their mothers … [Read more...]
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