Comments on: Getting Support for Teen Crises

By: Yosefa

Yosefa — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:46:56 +0000

As I recall, you’ve written about the issue of having an anonymous blog. I think this topic touches on one benefit of being anonymous. I guess it depends on the focus of your blog, your career/profession,, and your community as to whether the challenges of remaining anonymous outweigh the benefits of blog-fame. I think one way to deal with this is to guest post anonymously on another’s blog. I’ll tell you its not easy to get readers if you want to be truly anonymous.

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By: zur

zur — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:40:36 +0000

My impression is the main thing is to always have time to listen to a teenager.
zur recently posted..Professor Brian Caplan: "Take the minimum wage. Normal people like it because the government waves a magic wand and makes mean employers give helpless workers extra money, with zero blowback. So inane, yet so convincing to a psychologically normal human." (dofollow)

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By: abba's rantings

abba's rantings — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 14:26:08 +0000

” A problem with getting support in you r community . . .”

good point, although in this respect i can’t imagine that going to a neighboring community would protect privacy that much more

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By: staying afloat

staying afloat — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 01:37:59 +0000

I stopped blogging largely because of this. A lot of what I wanted to write about concerned one of my older kids, and it’s not fair to this child. I always said that though I blogged anonymously, I would never write about something that I would be upset if someone I knew (or my kids knew) found out. You have to assume people will figure out who you are, and at least two people did while I was blogging, one of whom I hadn’t seen or spoken to in almost five years.

And I wish I could share this issue, because there would be a lot of support here. A problem with getting support in you r community for a teenager is that sometimes, that child is walking around looking fine. They want babysitting jobs, a spot on a league team, friends in school. And getting support in your own community can involve having people who see your child every day, or may one day be hiring them, know this very private thing about them. As may their friends’ parents, who may want to stay objective but find it difficult. I think the easiest venue of support would be to make contacts in a neighboring but similar town.
staying afloat recently posted..Very cool posts (dofollow)

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By: abba's rantings

abba's rantings — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:53:36 +0000

i don’t think it is right to write publicly about one’s older children (old = old enough to find it online). and i think it’s very wrong to write about personal matters with reference to them, aside from exceptional cases (e.g., a kid who needs an organ donation and the publicity can help)

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By: abba's rantings

abba's rantings — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:49:13 +0000

baruch dayan emet

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By: Hannah Katsman

Hannah Katsman — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 04:35:29 +0000

Hi Ariela,
I went yesterday but you can comment on the blog,if you haven’t already.

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By: Ariela

Ariela — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 03:42:45 +0000

I am so sad about Ricki – her poor mother and family. What a horrible thing ! I am abroad or would pay a shiva call. Please say something from me if you go

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By: Allan Katz

Allan Katz — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 19:09:45 +0000

I agree there is not so much activity on parenting forums when it comes to teens. The advice usually given is put your relationship first or detach and leave the work to mentors, coaches, therapist, rhab treatment or thearaputic treatment centers , juvie etc

The challenge of keeping kids intrinsically motivated and on the derech is very challenging , but the challenges other parents go through – crime, stealing, damaging property , drunkard driving, hard drugs, selling drugs, pregnancy makes an argument on the length of a sleeve look silly.

I summarized Unhappy Teenagers by William Glasser http://tinyurl.com/cyosv27

Forums are pretty important. Most people don’t have a clue what parents of challenging kids go through and are often very judgmental about them not being consistent and firm in laying boundaries.

The truth is that some kids are more easy wired than others

For most of the working with approaches – CPS collaborative problem solving – is the how to
see http://livesinthebalance.org
Allan Katz recently posted..Modeling Behavior is behaviorist – Not SDT or CPS (dofollow)

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By: Regular Anonymous

Regular Anonymous — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 13:26:30 +0000

I have 2 very challenging teenagers. I cannot even believe the situations I have dealt with.

B”H, I am fortunate to have a wonderful psychologist who is both understanding and generous with his time.

I’m also fortunate that as an older mom, many of my friends have already finished with their difficult teens, have seen them straighten out and are able to advise me on how to cope or at least lend a sympathetic ear.

Too bad if my kids feel their privacy is invaded by me talking to my friends or to an anonymous on-line forum – I would not have been able to survive without doing so.

The Imamother subforum for parenting teens is open to the public so I don’t post there. There is a closed forum for OTD/Extremely rebellious teens but not much posting there.

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