I: Dating Readiness, II: Meeting the One, III: Genetic Testing, IV: Dating Venues, V: Shidduch Crisis?, VI: Internet Dating, VIII: Wedding Costs, IX: Planning Tips, XI: Diabetes,Genetics and Shidduchim.
A woman told me the following about a middle-aged couple in the community:
The couple have a daughter, age 20, who has been dating her boyfriend, also 20, for three years. The young people show no interest in moving the relationship to the next level. So the parents (both sides?) tell the children that they need to either get married, or break up. The young couple is now engaged.
They also have a son, 22. He was studying and working, but showed no interest in dating. They took him to a cafe and explained that he needs to get serious. The mother located eligible young women and passes on the phone numbers. The son is also about to get engaged.
The woman who told me about this family explained that parents today are petrified that their child will remain single, living hayyim umlalim, a miserable life, in the singles enclaves in Jerusalem or Givat Shmuel. Since their children aren’t showing much concern, they take matters into their own hands.
When I told this to a mother of several singles, she said, “I wish my children would let me do that!” But I wonder what will happen in a couple of years, if things get tough for the young couples. Will they resent their parents for pushing them into early marriage? Or perhaps they will be grateful for sparing them from a long singlehood.
Then, of course, there is a problem when this system doesn’t work, and the children don’t find someone in spite of (or because of?) the parents’ active involvement.
Do you see this happening in your community?Are parents frantic about their unmarried children, even at 20 and 22?
See Baila’s post on the subject: Preventing Pre-Marital Sex in Relgious Teens/Twenties