How to Avoid Speeding Tickets

Lion of Zion posted about a magazine he received entitled Gates of Chesed, consisting of articles about safety. One article called “Speeding Ticket Avoidance Tips” ought to consist of five words: Stay within the speed limit. Instead we find “Drive within 5-10 miles per hour of the surrounding traffic” and “Stay in the middle of the pack.” And the publication has the nerve to ask for donations.

Some suggestions for the next issue:

  • How to Abuse Your Wife without Leaving Telltale Bruises.
  • Laundering Money: Discretion is the Key.


  1. Oy.

  2. vey

  3. “Stay within the speed limit.”
    Now this is one I never thought about 😉

  4. mother in israel says

    And here I thought all my readers were law-abiding. . . 😉

  5. Love the suggestions.

  6. I agree that not speeding should be the rule, but in NY you can get a ticket for “impeding traffic.” If you go slower than surrounding traffic, causing a backup or causing others to constantly have to pass around you, you can get ticketed. Hence the writer’s suggestion to stay in the middle of the pack or stay within 5-10 miles of the surrounding traffic.

  7. Lion of Zion says

    yeah, but isn’t that if you’re doing 20 in a 55? is doing 55 in a 55 while everyone else is doing 70 really considering “impending traffic” and going to earn you a ticket?

  8. your suggestions made me laugh!!!!!!!

  9. mother in israel says

    ProfK, the title is how to avoid a ticket for speeding, not for impeding traffic.

  10. Excellent point Mom in Israel.
    Another — all too true in light of recent events — how to fill out a mortgage application to get money to buy a house you really can’t afford. Or how to flip you debt from one charge to another to juggle your bills as long as possible.
    Ah, there will be consequences down the road, but no need to think about that now.

  11. LOL!

  12. I can top that. In two words, I can tell you how to avoid speeding tickets: DON’T SPEED.